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[Polnareff snicked. He couldn't help it; at least it was just a snicker. He could be so much worse. And actually--]
So kinda like you telling me that Japanese pickup line and sending me straight to Jotaro?
So kinda like you telling me that Japanese pickup line and sending me straight to Jotaro?
Exactly like that. Except it's funnier when it's happening to someone else.
I don't feel bad for you at all.
[Another nudge with his elbow. They were still pressed together, and Polnareff was glad for it. He liked doing this with Kakyoin. It was comfortable in a way they two often weren't.]
Hey. Speaking of you and Jojo. I got a . . . y'know. Boyfriend question.
[Another nudge with his elbow. They were still pressed together, and Polnareff was glad for it. He liked doing this with Kakyoin. It was comfortable in a way they two often weren't.]
Hey. Speaking of you and Jojo. I got a . . . y'know. Boyfriend question.
Okay, fine. [He shrugged, giving Polnareff a halfhearted shove in response.] What is it?
Have you ever known me to do anything in moderation? I think it's the main reason my conversations with Temper never went anywhere.
How'd you know? I mean-- you went from best friends to boyfriends. How'd you know it was worth making the leap?
Edited 2016-08-02 14:28 (UTC)
...It wasn't easy. It still isn't, honestly. [Kakyoin adjusted his glasses, glancing away.] We didn't give up one for the other--Jojo's still my best friend, so you're out of luck if you were hoping to move up a rank with me. [He gave Polnareff a light shove to his shoulder, smiling.]
At the time I thought I was taking a pretty huge risk, but...look at it this way. Imagine you have the choice between telling Buccellati the truth when you're not sure if it might ruin everything you've ever had, or you can keep it to yourself and let things stay exactly the same. Would you regret keeping your mouth shut when it fels like you're keeping a massive secret from him?
I knew it was worth it because I didn't want to have regrets anymore. And I wanted him to know without any doubt that he's worth everything to me.
[...]
Giorno helped a lot. Aggressively helped, as he usually does.
At the time I thought I was taking a pretty huge risk, but...look at it this way. Imagine you have the choice between telling Buccellati the truth when you're not sure if it might ruin everything you've ever had, or you can keep it to yourself and let things stay exactly the same. Would you regret keeping your mouth shut when it fels like you're keeping a massive secret from him?
I knew it was worth it because I didn't want to have regrets anymore. And I wanted him to know without any doubt that he's worth everything to me.
[...]
Giorno helped a lot. Aggressively helped, as he usually does.
[That makes sense. And, truthfully, it was the conclusion he himself was already coming to. When had he ever kept anything to himself? Oh, he would have to do it carefully, of course, he wasn't just going to blurt it out-- but if worst came to absolute worst, surely Bruno wasn't the kind to cut all ties simply because someone had feelings for him.
Hopefully.]
I don't rank you two, you know, you're both equally my best friend in my eyes.
[He said it jokingly, but it was more so he could buy himself some time to think. Eventually, though:]
Yeah. All right. I'll figure it out sooner or later, I guess. Probably sooner, I'm getting sick of all the uncertainty.
Hopefully.]
I don't rank you two, you know, you're both equally my best friend in my eyes.
[He said it jokingly, but it was more so he could buy himself some time to think. Eventually, though:]
Yeah. All right. I'll figure it out sooner or later, I guess. Probably sooner, I'm getting sick of all the uncertainty.
I know. You're too nice for that. [Kakyoin laughed quietly, reaching for Polnareff's hand again in patient reassurance.]You're one of the best people I know.
Just...maybe don't do what I did, okay? Try actually planning out what to say beforehand.
Just...maybe don't do what I did, okay? Try actually planning out what to say beforehand.
[Oh. God. Polnareff's smile turned softer, and he glanced away for a moment, ears red. There would probably never be a time when a genuine compliment from Kakyoin wouldn't stun him, never mind something to that scale. He gripped his hand again, squeezing in silent gratitude and happiness.]
What'd you say? Or not say, or blurt out, or whatever?
What'd you say? Or not say, or blurt out, or whatever?
[Kakyoin's face turned slightly red, at the question more than any realization of what he'd said. It was true--Polnareff had proven that ten times over in this conversation alone--so there really wasn't any point in not saying it.]
I, uh...might have tried to tell him, failed completely, and just kissed him outright because I was sick of stumbling over the whole subject.
...I panicked.
I, uh...might have tried to tell him, failed completely, and just kissed him outright because I was sick of stumbling over the whole subject.
...I panicked.
[He barked a laugh, loud and unapologetic. It wasn't meant mean-spiritedly, but he gripped Kakyoin's hand tightly all the time, just to make sure he didn't pull away.]
That's a good way to do it! I mean, it sounds more like what I'd do than you, but I like it!
That's a good way to do it! I mean, it sounds more like what I'd do than you, but I like it!
I-I'm not so tactless as you, you know! [Look at him puff up like an agitated bird.]
I just...wasn't sure what else to do.
I just...wasn't sure what else to do.
The hell would you know about tactless, you've never seen me try to pick up somebody. And it was a good idea! You kissed him, he gave you a fish, and now you're a few months away from a year's anniversary. So it worked out.
That wasn't the kind of confession I'd really hoped for. It worked obviously, but...well, I guess I shouldn't complain that I didn't look very cool in the process.
Kakyoin, he gave you a fish that reminded him of you because it was-- and I'm quoting here-- beautiful and deadly and would fight its own reflection if it was given half a chance. The bar for looking cool isn't exactly high.
...But that was really cool. I like Aquamentus.
Yeah, but you don't fight yourself every time you see yourself in a mirror, is my point. I like Aquamentus too.
How do you know I don't fight my own reflection? Maybe I picked up a weird habit and didn't tell you.
[kakyoin, be nice.]
[kakyoin, be nice.]
Edited 2016-08-03 04:02 (UTC)
Our bathroom mirror is intact-- so what, do you fight it and lose?
I just challenge it to a game of rock-paper-scissors every morning.
Wouldn't you just always tie . . . ?
[He's overthinking it, but now it's a Thing.]
[He's overthinking it, but now it's a Thing.]
...I'm pretty sure we've both killed this joke by now, Jean.
Like Gold Experience feels.
[But that doesn't explain anything, he knows, and grits his teeth in frustration.]
I don't know. I don't know if I can explain it. It just feels wrong. Like everyone can see all the parts of me I don't want seen. What makes me happy, even when it shouldn't, and . . . all the parts of me that are too young and vulnerable and desperate. They shouldn't even exist anymore, much less be seen.
[But that doesn't explain anything, he knows, and grits his teeth in frustration.]
I don't know. I don't know if I can explain it. It just feels wrong. Like everyone can see all the parts of me I don't want seen. What makes me happy, even when it shouldn't, and . . . all the parts of me that are too young and vulnerable and desperate. They shouldn't even exist anymore, much less be seen.
...like they're seeing half of everything you are and everything you've ever been.
[And just like that, it made sense. Like Giorno, Kakyoin carefully built an image for himself--unlike Giorno, he had nothing to lose and everything to gain when that image was broken. Giorno was different--his entire 'self' as the world at large saw it was one he had built from the ashes of a father he'd never known before this and the shadows of a legacy he'd probably never fully been aware of.]
[Giorno had Haruno, and Haruno was a much heavier thing to bear than Tenmei ever had been.]
I'm sorry. I think that...maybe I understand a little now?
[And just like that, it made sense. Like Giorno, Kakyoin carefully built an image for himself--unlike Giorno, he had nothing to lose and everything to gain when that image was broken. Giorno was different--his entire 'self' as the world at large saw it was one he had built from the ashes of a father he'd never known before this and the shadows of a legacy he'd probably never fully been aware of.]
[Giorno had Haruno, and Haruno was a much heavier thing to bear than Tenmei ever had been.]
I'm sorry. I think that...maybe I understand a little now?
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