That's right...I guess that I am. [Timelines were really never going to stop being a little bit confusing. But given where his birthday fell on the city's calendar and when he'd arrived, he was just a little older than Jotaro now. Which was a little odd to consider, if he thought too hard about it.]
That's pretty unfortunate. What kind of kouhai is older than their senpai?
[It's a half-breathless, largely unintended reaction, one that slips out like he hasn't really realized he's done it — but if Kakyoin's intentionally going to use his prior knowledge to his advantage, it's not like he can really do much but accept and react to it in the best possible way.]
Maybe you're a kouhai who got held back a couple of years.
[To help ensure the recognition of that as teasing, he gives Kakyoin a little squeeze on "held", specifically for the double meaning.]
You really want to distract me that badly? [Kakyoin punctuated that with a light kiss to the same spot, pulling back enough to show the clear smirk on his face.]
If you want to surprise me first, then go right ahead.
[He half rolls over, keeping one arm around Kakyoin while the other digs around under the bed and eventually produces a black velvet box, which he offers to Kakyoin.]
I know it's...well. I was thinking about something we talked about. I thought...
[He hesitates.]
I don't know if this is going to come out right. But what I was thinking was, last year I gave you something that looked good, but also tough. This time I thought...it should be good, but beautiful.
[He tilted his head in either interest or confusion as he took the box, uncertain as to what that actually meant. Once he opened it, though...it made complete sense.]
...It's perfect, Jojo.
[That really was a nice contrast; something tough and something beautiful, but both of them suiting Kakyoin himself flawlessly as far as he was concerned. Cherry blossoms...it would even match his earrings.]
Thank you. [His honest gratitude came with a quick and light kiss, Kakyoin pulling back with a bright smile.] I love it.
For your hair. If you can find someone to help you put it up...or something.
[But then his hands move a little, carefully, and push at the hem of Kakyoin's pajamas to slip underneath in search of the scarring around his abdomen.]
I can put it up myself. I know I always wear it the same way, but I can figure out h--
[He didn't flinch away from the hands under his shirt, but Kakyoin's words abruptly caught in his throat. His shoulders went rigid for a fleeting second before he tried to recover and keep the startled surprise off of his face.]
[He carefully set the box aside and slipped his arms back around Jotaro's waist, more securely this time.]
It's okay. You just surprised me a little, it's nothing.
[Wait, that wasn't entirely right. It wasn't fair to either of them that he should just dismiss it like that. If there was something one of them was worried about, then they should be able to...just talk about it, right?]
What about you? Are you okay--with this, I mean. It's not bothering you?
...I was thinking about what you said. About wondering if I see you and all I think about is...the stuff we're trying to leave behind. Like you said, if it bothers me.
[He tucks his head down against Kakyoin's, humming low in the back of his throat.]
I don't want it to sound like — hn. I don't want it to sound like I did it with a motive. Like I had some plan to carry out, or something.
I was just thinking about you dressing up for me. Looking amazing for me. I don't think your scars take away from that. I think they're a part of you, and what you are is tough and beautiful and amazing.
I know that you didn't, Jojo. Even if that was your plan, I don't think something like that would really bother me.
[He ran a hand through Jotaro's hair, tension in his back and shoulders gradually fading as he thought over what to say next. After a short silence, Kakyoin continued in a quiet, careful tone.]
...Giorno would have fixed it if I asked. Probably if I so much as hinted at the idea that was what I wanted. But it's...not, as weird as that probably sounds. If it ever becomes a liability in a fight again, maybe. But I don't want this to just disappear.
[Curling thin fingers loosely in Jotaro's hair, Kakyoin sighed and tried to figure out the right way to say what he was thinking. It sounded a little crazy in concept--who wouldn't want something that uncomfortable and inconvenient gone, given the choice?]
Saying they don't bother me would be a lie. I don't want anyone else to see them if I can help it, but it's still not something I'm ashamed of. It's exactly as you say--part of who I am now. And as much as we should be learning to leave behind, there are still some smaller things about Egypt that I think I want to hold on to.
[As horrific and traumatizing as that night had been for both of them, Kakyoin knew exactly why he didn't want the tangible reminder gone--because it was a reminder. He'd stood against what he had once been terrified of, and despite everything he had technically lived to talk about it. As much as the scattered marks on his body were a remnant of anguish and defeat, they were just like the ones on his face: proof that he could come back stronger as long as he refused to give in.]
[He wanted to stay the person he'd become between November and January; the stubborn Kakyoin that refused to be afraid, the one that could keep going no matter what stood in front of him, that would keep living past January and beyond Cairo.]
...But since the way I look doesn't bother you, I'd really like to do that sometime.
[Even if they were talking openly about the subject, he didn't want to voice the real reason he had been so concerned--the lingering certainty that Jotaro had seen a water-soaked and bloodstained corpse with a hole through it, and the worry that was what he was going to see looking at the still-living and breathing Kakyoin now.]
But only if you do the same for me. It's hardly fair that only one of us is going to look spectacular for the other, isn't it?
Edited (extra punctuation snuck in whoops) 2016-07-26 17:04 (UTC)
You're asking me to dress up for you? Like the last time, or something else?
[But the lightheartedness gradually takes a backseat as he settles into the attention he's being offered, shifting and adjusting until he's comfortable with his head propped against Kakyoin's and his hands skimming slow and methodical circles over the redhead's scars.]
...You know I want you to do what's right for you. Whether it's keeping them, erasing them...if one day you wake up and change your mind, I'll still support you in it. Just so long as they're not hurting you. That's the only thing, so as long as they're not...then the rest is your decision, and I don't have or need or want a say in it.
Something like last time would be fun. You could use a different shade of lipstick though--that last one was way too light, I think.
[Kakyoin listened with a small smile, hand starting to move in a comforting gesture through his hair again. He didn't freeze up this time, instead calmly picking back up with the more serious line of thought.]
I promised you when you first got here that I would tell you if I had a difficult time and needed help, or if it was a problem. I meant that, and I've never once tried to hide anything from you when it comes to this. When it hurts, I'll tell you. If it ever hurts so much that I can't keep going, or I hold the rest of you back--then I won't argue, and I'll talk to Giorno about it.
But I'm okay. Right now, and most of the time--it doesn't hurt anymore. I promise that I'm not in pain, so you shouldn't worry or think that I might be.
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[Motherfucker it is summer and probably hot and gross but it's not going to stop him from snuggling anyway.]
I want you to have a good start to your day. Today in particular.
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[average summer is the concern of mere mortals.]
Today in particular...? What day is it?
[He put his arms around Jotaro's waist without much further questioning apart from that and a look of confusion. Kid just woke up, give him a break.]
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[Have a smooch to the top of the head, noodlebae.]
Of July.
[...]
I'm here for it this year.
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[That was when Kakyoin woke up in one heck of a hurry, because he almost forgot his own birthday.]
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Yeah. You're even early this year.
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[Have another kiss.]
You're older than me again.
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That's pretty unfortunate. What kind of kouhai is older than their senpai?
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[It's a half-breathless, largely unintended reaction, one that slips out like he hasn't really realized he's done it — but if Kakyoin's intentionally going to use his prior knowledge to his advantage, it's not like he can really do much but accept and react to it in the best possible way.]
Maybe you're a kouhai who got held back a couple of years.
[To help ensure the recognition of that as teasing, he gives Kakyoin a little squeeze on "held", specifically for the double meaning.]
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[Encouraged by the reaction he moved a little closer, laughing quietly against Jotaro's neck.]
I must have gotten into a lot of trouble to stay back that long.
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[Definitely getting cuddled, too.]
Kind of a shame, though. Since when do troublemakers get nice things?
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[Which was said matter-of-factly with a playful bite to the other student's throat.]
I think I'm getting pretty good at that.
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[Unless said present is something to do with leaving marks on thy boyfriend's neck, because in that case, you evidently can.]
Do you want them now? Or would you rather mark me up first?
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If you want to surprise me first, then go right ahead.
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[He half rolls over, keeping one arm around Kakyoin while the other digs around under the bed and eventually produces a black velvet box, which he offers to Kakyoin.]
I know it's...well. I was thinking about something we talked about. I thought...
[He hesitates.]
I don't know if this is going to come out right. But what I was thinking was, last year I gave you something that looked good, but also tough. This time I thought...it should be good, but beautiful.
[And indeed, the contents of the box are very much that.]
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...It's perfect, Jojo.
[That really was a nice contrast; something tough and something beautiful, but both of them suiting Kakyoin himself flawlessly as far as he was concerned. Cherry blossoms...it would even match his earrings.]
Thank you. [His honest gratitude came with a quick and light kiss, Kakyoin pulling back with a bright smile.] I love it.
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[Sorry, interruption. Kisses take precedence.]
For your hair. If you can find someone to help you put it up...or something.
[But then his hands move a little, carefully, and push at the hem of Kakyoin's pajamas to slip underneath in search of the scarring around his abdomen.]
Can you wear it sometime for me?
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[He didn't flinch away from the hands under his shirt, but Kakyoin's words abruptly caught in his throat. His shoulders went rigid for a fleeting second before he tried to recover and keep the startled surprise off of his face.]
...yeah. I'll definitely wear it.
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[His hands still, but don't draw away. He simply lets them come to rest, holding without advancing, and poised to retreat on an instant's notice.]
Is...is it okay?
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[He carefully set the box aside and slipped his arms back around Jotaro's waist, more securely this time.]
It's okay. You just surprised me a little, it's nothing.
[Wait, that wasn't entirely right. It wasn't fair to either of them that he should just dismiss it like that. If there was something one of them was worried about, then they should be able to...just talk about it, right?]
What about you? Are you okay--with this, I mean. It's not bothering you?
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[He tucks his head down against Kakyoin's, humming low in the back of his throat.]
I don't want it to sound like — hn. I don't want it to sound like I did it with a motive. Like I had some plan to carry out, or something.
I was just thinking about you dressing up for me. Looking amazing for me. I don't think your scars take away from that. I think they're a part of you, and what you are is tough and beautiful and amazing.
That's what I was thinking.
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[He ran a hand through Jotaro's hair, tension in his back and shoulders gradually fading as he thought over what to say next. After a short silence, Kakyoin continued in a quiet, careful tone.]
...Giorno would have fixed it if I asked. Probably if I so much as hinted at the idea that was what I wanted. But it's...not, as weird as that probably sounds. If it ever becomes a liability in a fight again, maybe. But I don't want this to just disappear.
[Curling thin fingers loosely in Jotaro's hair, Kakyoin sighed and tried to figure out the right way to say what he was thinking. It sounded a little crazy in concept--who wouldn't want something that uncomfortable and inconvenient gone, given the choice?]
Saying they don't bother me would be a lie. I don't want anyone else to see them if I can help it, but it's still not something I'm ashamed of. It's exactly as you say--part of who I am now. And as much as we should be learning to leave behind, there are still some smaller things about Egypt that I think I want to hold on to.
[As horrific and traumatizing as that night had been for both of them, Kakyoin knew exactly why he didn't want the tangible reminder gone--because it was a reminder. He'd stood against what he had once been terrified of, and despite everything he had technically lived to talk about it. As much as the scattered marks on his body were a remnant of anguish and defeat, they were just like the ones on his face: proof that he could come back stronger as long as he refused to give in.]
[He wanted to stay the person he'd become between November and January; the stubborn Kakyoin that refused to be afraid, the one that could keep going no matter what stood in front of him, that would keep living past January and beyond Cairo.]
...But since the way I look doesn't bother you, I'd really like to do that sometime.
[Even if they were talking openly about the subject, he didn't want to voice the real reason he had been so concerned--the lingering certainty that Jotaro had seen a water-soaked and bloodstained corpse with a hole through it, and the worry that was what he was going to see looking at the still-living and breathing Kakyoin now.]
But only if you do the same for me. It's hardly fair that only one of us is going to look spectacular for the other, isn't it?
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[But the lightheartedness gradually takes a backseat as he settles into the attention he's being offered, shifting and adjusting until he's comfortable with his head propped against Kakyoin's and his hands skimming slow and methodical circles over the redhead's scars.]
...You know I want you to do what's right for you. Whether it's keeping them, erasing them...if one day you wake up and change your mind, I'll still support you in it. Just so long as they're not hurting you. That's the only thing, so as long as they're not...then the rest is your decision, and I don't have or need or want a say in it.
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[Kakyoin listened with a small smile, hand starting to move in a comforting gesture through his hair again. He didn't freeze up this time, instead calmly picking back up with the more serious line of thought.]
I promised you when you first got here that I would tell you if I had a difficult time and needed help, or if it was a problem. I meant that, and I've never once tried to hide anything from you when it comes to this. When it hurts, I'll tell you. If it ever hurts so much that I can't keep going, or I hold the rest of you back--then I won't argue, and I'll talk to Giorno about it.
But I'm okay. Right now, and most of the time--it doesn't hurt anymore. I promise that I'm not in pain, so you shouldn't worry or think that I might be.
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[He hums softly.]
I think that pin is going to end up being as much a gift for me as it is for you. So it's not the only thing I have for showing you.
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[Worrying about worrying. This was a new level of ridiculous.]
It's not, huh? What else is there?
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