I...don't always like when you pull me around like that. It reminds me I'm smaller than you, that gets kind of annoying. But once in a while--for something like this it's okay, because I like being close to you like this.
[As he talked, Kakyoin's hands were brought up to Jotaro's shoulders before one moved higher to settle in his hair.]
And I really...really like what you're doing to my neck right now.
Mmmm. I'm glad you told me that. I like doing it because I like moving you around. I don't think of it as you being smaller than me. I think of it as liking to carry you around. I like it when you depend on me that little bit, and I get to take care of you.
[He sinks in his teeth a little more firmly.]
Would it make it easier if you were pretending to be someone else when I did it? Would it annoy you like that as much, I mean.
I-- [His breath hitched in his throat at the teeth in his neck, Kakyoin fumbling for the words he dropped midway into putting them in a sentence.]
I d...don't know how to be anyone else. And I don't...want to have to depend on you too often. If it's just once in a while--for something like this, or if I end up too exhausted to walk again--then I think it's okay. And if I end up getting annoyed, I can just...tell you, right?
Yeah. I would want you to just tell me, so I can stop. It's supposed to be about making you feel good, not mad.
[He finishes up his bite, then nuzzles soothingly against the reddened skin.]
That's...let me try it again. It's not —
[Hmmm.]
My Noriaki Kakyoin doesn't call me "Kujo-senpai". He calls me Jojo. So when you do that, it's like...we're playing a game, almost? You're a little bit not yourself, and I'm a little bit not myself. Like...make-believe. You don't have to...mean it, exactly. You can do things and I won't think they're coming from the everyday you. I can do things and try things without having to be me, sort of.
[He hesitates.]
I think I'm saying this badly. What I mean is...that's what I like about it. Because you're playing around at being cute. Because I know you're teasing. Because I know that's not the real, everyday you. So I don't have to think as much about what it means. I can just...play, too. See?
...I think I've got it. If it's a matter of just leaving it to moments like this and not being entirely ourselves...yeah, I can accept that. but if it gets annoying, you'll hear about it from me--
[Leaning in closer, a brief smirk flashed across Kakyoin's face before he whispered a short addition into Jotaro's ear.]
Are you willing to risk that? You might not like my kind of trouble.
[A short beat passes, and then just to be safe he quickly winks at Kakyoin, just in case his threat seemed a little too serious and needed some reassurance attached.]
[He pauses through another one of those brief beats, but then this time snaps his teeth a little playfully right near the tip of Kakyoin's nose, making them click.]
Why? Are you eager for my attention? Are you hoping that I'll keep you if you do?
You're putting me under a lot of pressure with a challenge like that, senpai. But...I do like to impress people. You in particular.
[And from the look of the smirk on his face now, Kakyoin really was planning to be trouble.]
I do want your attention, entirely. For this moment, I want you to be able to focus on absolutely nothing and no one else but me. And I want you to realize that you are entirely mine right now, Kujo-senpai~.
[Kakyoin's hands hadn't moved, but someone certainly was tracing a feather-light spectral fingertip up Jotaro's spine to punctuate the sentiment.]
[Perhaps unsurprisingly, he goes still and a little bit stiff, unmoving save for his eyes, which take a rapid accounting of where both of Kakyoin's hands are, and therefore what must be crawling up his back by process of elimination.
To his credit, he's very good at keeping a straight face, but it's a stone wall made fragile and crumbling fast. His eyes in particular are a noticeable flaw in the mask — they're a little too wide, and a little too bright.]
'If I'm making you nervous and you don't like it, I'll stop.'
[But until then, Kakyoin trailed his hands to Jotaro's sides and set a couple of light kisses against his neck. Hierophant's hand, meanwhile, had unraveled into the usual coil that curled around Jotaro's shoulders like a snake looking for warmth.]
Who wouldn't be a little nervous after hearing a declaration of yours like that? Or maybe you don't really think you're as impressive as you want me to believe.
[He's careful to keep up the act, very deliberately avoiding anything about potentially not liking what's happening. And his face is flaming, his lip caught halfway beneath his front teeth, but behind his wide eyes his gaze and poise are steady.
After a second or two, he adds a possessive tightening of his hold on Kakyoin to the mix, and hopes that the sum of all these things is enough that he won't need to say aloud that he understands their promise is a two part equation — being nervous and disliking it enough to want it to stop — and right now he's only one of the two.]
...I like it, though. That you don't want me thinking about anything but you. The lengths that you'll go to...just to have my attention.
I don't really care for being the center of attention often, but I like having your focus entirely on me. And I like knowing I can get that look on your face--you're cute when you're caught off guard like that.
[He smirked against Jotaro's neck, but didn't move to do anything else yet--he seemed content enough with the possessive hold he was in as well as the one he and Hierophant had in return.]
...I like the times when you look at me like you're seeing something magnificent for the first time.
Isn't that every time I look at you? It feels like it.
[He sighs a little, a soft release of breath; he tips his head a little further to one side, to better let Kakyoin have his way — and maybe to encourage him in whatever he might do, just a little.]
Like when you wore that dress? I felt...special. And cool. That's what I felt, looking at you then.
I felt pretty good about that, actually. Once I realized you weren't staring at me because I looked weird, it...wasn't that bad. I liked seeing that kind of reaction.
[That train of thought was put on hold for a moment, in favor of Kakyoin kissing a slow and deliberate line along Jotaro's neck and jawline.]
...I don't always feel like what you probably see me as. So...it means a lot.
I mentioned it before--I don't really care how people think I look. There have always been people that overlooked or underestimated me because I'm smaller or look like a girl compared to most guys; that doesn't bother me. I've never had a problem taking pride in my appearance no matter what others had to say about it.
[He moved one hand long enough to take off his glasses and set them aside, skimming his fingertips along Jotaro's arm before dropping them back to his side.]
But there are things I can control and things I can't. I don't think I'd call it a sense of self-consciousness in this specific instance...I just worry about you. I worry about what you could be thinking when you look at what's under the shirt I'm wearing--if it's 'I need to protect Kakyoin' or if you're remembering an entire living nightmare, or...anything.
[His arms slipped more securely around Jotaro's waist, possessive in his own way while Hierophant coiled around the arm his user had just trailed his hand over.]
There are those times when I see you watch me like I'm something amazing, and then there are the times when I'm worried the way I look is just...an unpleasant reminder. So I guess that I'm trying to say that the former makes it easier to tell myself how unlikely the latter probably is.
[With the glasses off of Kakyoin's face, Jotaro takes that as an opportunity to lean up and mouth a kiss high on Kakyoin's cheek, near the base of one of his scars, and then shifts up to repeat the motion on the top of it near the brow.]
...I remember that you couldn't scream. Because N'doul would hear it, and it would've given us away. You were that hurt, this hurt...and none of us could make a sound.
[He shifts to the other side, showing the same attention to the other scar.]
I think...for a long time I wanted to protect you because I was scared. Because you've been hurt so much...because there were too many times I couldn't save you. I didn't want anything to happen to you, and I didn't want to have to go through seeing you get hurt again.
But now I think maybe there's a difference. I think what I was thinking then was "I need to protect him". And...you don't need that. You don't need me to do that.
...But I still want to. I think I'll always want to. Because I think I'll always want to protect the people I love. So I don't think I'll ever stop wanting to, because to do that I'd have to stop loving you.
That's what you look like to me. Everything else is just...different shades of that constant.
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[Speaking of which, that's a nice neck you have, Kakyoin. It looks like it could use some teeth in it. Lightly, of course.]
Maybe we should talk about it. The things we like.
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[It could indeed, judging by how Kakyoin was tilting his head in response.]
...I like that, for starters.
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[See: cuddling. Biting. Being possessive.]
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[As he talked, Kakyoin's hands were brought up to Jotaro's shoulders before one moved higher to settle in his hair.]
And I really...really like what you're doing to my neck right now.
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[He sinks in his teeth a little more firmly.]
Would it make it easier if you were pretending to be someone else when I did it? Would it annoy you like that as much, I mean.
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I d...don't know how to be anyone else. And I don't...want to have to depend on you too often. If it's just once in a while--for something like this, or if I end up too exhausted to walk again--then I think it's okay. And if I end up getting annoyed, I can just...tell you, right?
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[He finishes up his bite, then nuzzles soothingly against the reddened skin.]
That's...let me try it again. It's not —
[Hmmm.]
My Noriaki Kakyoin doesn't call me "Kujo-senpai". He calls me Jojo. So when you do that, it's like...we're playing a game, almost? You're a little bit not yourself, and I'm a little bit not myself. Like...make-believe. You don't have to...mean it, exactly. You can do things and I won't think they're coming from the everyday you. I can do things and try things without having to be me, sort of.
[He hesitates.]
I think I'm saying this badly. What I mean is...that's what I like about it. Because you're playing around at being cute. Because I know you're teasing. Because I know that's not the real, everyday you. So I don't have to think as much about what it means. I can just...play, too. See?
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[Leaning in closer, a brief smirk flashed across Kakyoin's face before he whispered a short addition into Jotaro's ear.]
--Kujo-senpai.
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[Well, that's certainly a pleased noise, all right. And one that comes accompanied by a hand skimming up to twist into Kakyoin's hair, no less.]
You're pretty mouthy...for a kouhai.
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Are you willing to risk that? You might not like my kind of trouble.
[A short beat passes, and then just to be safe he quickly winks at Kakyoin, just in case his threat seemed a little too serious and needed some reassurance attached.]
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[...His boyfriend is adorable.]
I think I can handle your kind of trouble. You should be asking yourself whether or not you can deal with mine.
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[He pauses through another one of those brief beats, but then this time snaps his teeth a little playfully right near the tip of Kakyoin's nose, making them click.]
Why? Are you eager for my attention? Are you hoping that I'll keep you if you do?
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Or maybe I want to impress you so much that you'll end up wanting me to be the one keeping you.
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[But he leans again, this time setting his teeth lightly against Kakyoin's throat.]
Try it, then. Impress me.
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[And from the look of the smirk on his face now, Kakyoin really was planning to be trouble.]
I do want your attention, entirely. For this moment, I want you to be able to focus on absolutely nothing and no one else but me. And I want you to realize that you are entirely mine right now, Kujo-senpai~.
[Kakyoin's hands hadn't moved, but someone certainly was tracing a feather-light spectral fingertip up Jotaro's spine to punctuate the sentiment.]
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To his credit, he's very good at keeping a straight face, but it's a stone wall made fragile and crumbling fast. His eyes in particular are a noticeable flaw in the mask — they're a little too wide, and a little too bright.]
Shit —
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[But until then, Kakyoin trailed his hands to Jotaro's sides and set a couple of light kisses against his neck. Hierophant's hand, meanwhile, had unraveled into the usual coil that curled around Jotaro's shoulders like a snake looking for warmth.]
...Tell me something else you like?
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[He's careful to keep up the act, very deliberately avoiding anything about potentially not liking what's happening. And his face is flaming, his lip caught halfway beneath his front teeth, but behind his wide eyes his gaze and poise are steady.
After a second or two, he adds a possessive tightening of his hold on Kakyoin to the mix, and hopes that the sum of all these things is enough that he won't need to say aloud that he understands their promise is a two part equation — being nervous and disliking it enough to want it to stop — and right now he's only one of the two.]
...I like it, though. That you don't want me thinking about anything but you. The lengths that you'll go to...just to have my attention.
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[He smirked against Jotaro's neck, but didn't move to do anything else yet--he seemed content enough with the possessive hold he was in as well as the one he and Hierophant had in return.]
...I like the times when you look at me like you're seeing something magnificent for the first time.
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[He sighs a little, a soft release of breath; he tips his head a little further to one side, to better let Kakyoin have his way — and maybe to encourage him in whatever he might do, just a little.]
Like when you wore that dress? I felt...special. And cool. That's what I felt, looking at you then.
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[That train of thought was put on hold for a moment, in favor of Kakyoin kissing a slow and deliberate line along Jotaro's neck and jawline.]
...I don't always feel like what you probably see me as. So...it means a lot.
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[Translation: feels good, probably.]
Tell me about it? About how you feel. I want to know...if you'll let me.
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[He moved one hand long enough to take off his glasses and set them aside, skimming his fingertips along Jotaro's arm before dropping them back to his side.]
But there are things I can control and things I can't. I don't think I'd call it a sense of self-consciousness in this specific instance...I just worry about you. I worry about what you could be thinking when you look at what's under the shirt I'm wearing--if it's 'I need to protect Kakyoin' or if you're remembering an entire living nightmare, or...anything.
[His arms slipped more securely around Jotaro's waist, possessive in his own way while Hierophant coiled around the arm his user had just trailed his hand over.]
There are those times when I see you watch me like I'm something amazing, and then there are the times when I'm worried the way I look is just...an unpleasant reminder. So I guess that I'm trying to say that the former makes it easier to tell myself how unlikely the latter probably is.
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...I remember that you couldn't scream. Because N'doul would hear it, and it would've given us away. You were that hurt, this hurt...and none of us could make a sound.
[He shifts to the other side, showing the same attention to the other scar.]
I think...for a long time I wanted to protect you because I was scared. Because you've been hurt so much...because there were too many times I couldn't save you. I didn't want anything to happen to you, and I didn't want to have to go through seeing you get hurt again.
But now I think maybe there's a difference. I think what I was thinking then was "I need to protect him". And...you don't need that. You don't need me to do that.
...But I still want to. I think I'll always want to. Because I think I'll always want to protect the people I love. So I don't think I'll ever stop wanting to, because to do that I'd have to stop loving you.
That's what you look like to me. Everything else is just...different shades of that constant.
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