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[lapidarius]

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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Comments

[starmark]

THE ONION PUT ME TO SLEEP

[lapidarius]

Yeah, it's called a status effect.

[Through sheer luck or the onset of a perfect storm, Kakyoin had just gotten back from having Polnareff teach him how to play pool--which he'd done in a white shirt, heels, and the skirt he'd gotten from said troublemaker given human form.]

Here, let me see that. You should have some way to counteract it, that's kind of how these things work.

[starmark]

Here, c'mere and look at th—

[He rolls over to look at Kakyoin, having taken up position on his stomach on the bed with his legs bent at the knees and his feet in the air while putting around with his game, and proceeds to drop both his pocketwatch and the Game Boy without a second thought.]

...

Uh.

Uh.

[He swallows.]

Uh...onion.

[lapidarius]

[jojo please focus there are video games to win here]

They wouldn't just throw status effects at you if there weren't a way around it. Did you try switching from your 'crocodile starter'?

[Which, of course, was asked as Kakyoin sat down on the bed and leaned way over to look at the screen.]

[starmark]

...Where have you been?

[The looking like that is implied, but probably not difficult to interpret.]

Here, you just see if you can figure it out.

[GOOD. YOU PLAY FOR A WHILE. LET HIM OGLE IN PEACE.]

[lapidarius]

Nowhere that important. [Completely oblivious to the implied connotation in favor of videogames, Kakyoin turned his attention to the handheld.] I was just out with Polnareff for a while.

[starmark]

You look cute.

[He scoots over, hooking an arm around Kakyoin and dragging him up onto the mattress in more of a lounge than a sitting position.]

What were you doing with Polnareff?

[lapidarius]

Oh...we were talking about Buccellati and he showed me how to play pool. Apparently I'm pretty good at it.

[Completely focused on fighting the accursed onion, Kakyoin let himself be pulled around with just that as a remark.]

[starmark]

I'm not surprised. It's a lot of geometry.

[He is so much better at snuggling than at video games. This plan that was not actually a plan worked out perfectly.]

[lapidarius]

That's just about what I said. I'd never played before, but it's much simpler than it looks.

[Kind of like he seemed to think this game was.]

See, look--if one of them falls asleep you can just switch to another one or use an item to wake it up.

[starmark]

Oh.

[MENUS: HIS ANCIENT NEMESIS.]

I just kept hitting "attack" because I wanted it to kick its ass.

[lapidarius]

Just because that works in real life doesn't mean it applies here.

[you can't ora-ora all your problems.]

You have to use strategy once in a while and plan out what you're doing.

[starmark]

Video games don't let you do that. You just have to play them the way they allow you to. Because of how they're programmed, right?

[He could set the onion on fire if this were real life. He carries a lighter. He could definitely do that.]

Did you beat it yet?

[lapidarius]

Right. There isn't a button for 'punch the onion', so you have to be clever about it.

[jotaro please.]

Of course I did--here. [Kakyoin held the game up to hand it back to him, sighing in joking exasperation.]

[starmark]

Thanks.

[Welp, he's back to playing again. Time for more trekking through the Ilex Forest. Deedley-deedley-doo.]

Did you catch it, or just knock it out?

[lapidarius]

[Which, naturally, gave Kakyoin a perfect opportunity to do the snuggling now that his attention was not otherwise occupied.]

I caught it.

[starmark]

I can't believe how good at this you are.

[DOOT DOOT DOO DEE DOO. What a multitasker he is, cuddling on one front and wandering around on the other.]

...So you had a good time with Polnareff?

[lapidarius]

It shouldn't surprise you that I have a wide range of talents.

[or 'kakyoin noriaki is a large moody ginger cat', exhibit A]

Yeah. We actually had fun with everything.

[starmark]

That's good.

[beedle beedle beep bop boop woop.]

...Hey, look. This butterfly is pink.

[GUESS WHO JUST]

[lapidarius]

...Is...is that supposed to happen?

[oh my god you two]

[starmark]

I don't know. Usually they're more blue and purple. Maybe this one is radioactive or something.

[DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE.]

...Do you think I should have my crocodile bite it? I could run away.

[EoH Kakyoin, who survived long enough to embrace the wonders of every gen of Pokemon, is screaming right now.]

[lapidarius]

I really don't think radiation is a thing here.

[Across the multiverse, he just put his head in his hand and repressed the inexplicable desire to throw a 3ds at his boyfriend's head for no reason.]

Do you have one already?

[starmark]

No. I haven't been collecting any of the bugs, they seem like they're pretty weak.

[Also: they are not water types, and therefore not cute enough to be a part of his roster.]

...We could catch it and name it Jolyne.

[lapidarius]

...

[hearteyesmotherfucker.gif]

Okay. Go ahead and catch it, I think that'd be nice.

[starmark]

[joke's on them IT'S A BOY BUTTERFREE]

Okay. I'm going to shoot it with water first. Then I'm going to bite it.

[A SOUND STRATEGY]