[Oh. With Izabel being the other person in this equation, Kakyoin suspected he had a reasonable grasp of the problem. And the problem was that neither of them were really right or wrong. Of course, saving Joseph Joestar was the correct option.]
['I don't know what to do about it.' 'Do about...being dead? You kind of do nothing.']
[Izabel seemed convinced there was finality to death, and maybe she was right. Normally, she would be right. Maybe on a fundamental level, the 'right' choice to them was something horrifying--hadn't Kakyoin felt the same when he'd last talked to Buccellati?]
[It wasn't morally wrong to bring him back, but it may not have been 'right' on some other level.]
I don't think...it really works like that, where she's from. [He shut the pocketwatch, turning it over a few times in his hand with a distant stare.]
I'm not arguing or going back on what I said--you made the right choice. But I kind of think her perspective on death may be much different than ours.
[He set the watch aside and pulled his hand away, moving to put his arms around Jotaro's shoulders instead. Unfortunately, Kakyoin found there really wasn't much he could say; he didn't want to take a side in this when he couldn't argue against either of them.]
It's okay, Jotaro. You did the right thing.
[In a much, much different way than Giorno apparently had.]
[He'd been doing so well, honestly. Really he had. Making strides forward, putting things behind him. Confronting his latent, deep-seated fears. Putting himself back together, despite the regrets and the grief.
How could one stupid sentence land such a crushing blow against all that?
Honestly, through the whirlwind of thoughts and the haze of upset that was his train of thought just then, it was difficult to say whether it was really about Jiji. Was it, truly, the thought of at least I saved one, and the possibility of having some small scrap of triumph taken away from him?
Was it the implication that he'd done what he thought was right, and been wrong? That his judgment was flawed, he couldn't trust it?
Was it that, if the dead were supposed to stay dead and you had to just walk away and leave them there, then by extension any hope of finding a means of restoring Kakyoin, as well, was already worthless from the start?
Why was one single fucking sentence fucking him up so much?]
I just needed to see you.
[He hesitated, leaning a little more heavily on Kakyoin, now that their arrangement had shifted and the angle of support had changed.]
...Thought about going off on my own. But I figured...I better find you first.
Thanks. I would have been worried if you just disappeared.
[Kakyoin hugged him tightly, trying to make sure they both knew that they were there--that Kakyoin himself was still breathing, that they were both just alive for right now.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 05:51 pm (UTC)[Oh. With Izabel being the other person in this equation, Kakyoin suspected he had a reasonable grasp of the problem. And the problem was that neither of them were really right or wrong. Of course, saving Joseph Joestar was the correct option.]
['I don't know what to do about it.'
'Do about...being dead? You kind of do nothing.']
[Izabel seemed convinced there was finality to death, and maybe she was right. Normally, she would be right. Maybe on a fundamental level, the 'right' choice to them was something horrifying--hadn't Kakyoin felt the same when he'd last talked to Buccellati?]
[It wasn't morally wrong to bring him back, but it may not have been 'right' on some other level.]
I don't think...it really works like that, where she's from. [He shut the pocketwatch, turning it over a few times in his hand with a distant stare.]
I'm not arguing or going back on what I said--you made the right choice. But I kind of think her perspective on death may be much different than ours.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:02 pm (UTC)[He sank a little lower into himself, body language clearly indicating an attempt to withdraw into himself like a particularly seething turtle.]
...The one fucking thing I did right, that night. And she's giving me shit like this about it. Yare yare...
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:11 pm (UTC)...Come here.
[He set the watch aside and pulled his hand away, moving to put his arms around Jotaro's shoulders instead. Unfortunately, Kakyoin found there really wasn't much he could say; he didn't want to take a side in this when he couldn't argue against either of them.]
It's okay, Jotaro. You did the right thing.
[In a much, much different way than Giorno apparently had.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:51 pm (UTC)How could one stupid sentence land such a crushing blow against all that?
Honestly, through the whirlwind of thoughts and the haze of upset that was his train of thought just then, it was difficult to say whether it was really about Jiji. Was it, truly, the thought of at least I saved one, and the possibility of having some small scrap of triumph taken away from him?
Was it the implication that he'd done what he thought was right, and been wrong? That his judgment was flawed, he couldn't trust it?
Was it that, if the dead were supposed to stay dead and you had to just walk away and leave them there, then by extension any hope of finding a means of restoring Kakyoin, as well, was already worthless from the start?
Why was one single fucking sentence fucking him up so much?]
I just needed to see you.
[He hesitated, leaning a little more heavily on Kakyoin, now that their arrangement had shifted and the angle of support had changed.]
...Thought about going off on my own. But I figured...I better find you first.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:15 pm (UTC)[Kakyoin hugged him tightly, trying to make sure they both knew that they were there--that Kakyoin himself was still breathing, that they were both just alive for right now.]