It's like you said: 'it wasn't like I was thinking about it'.
Hierophant hasn't acted independently on that level since I was a kid--I mean, he moves on his own when I'm nervous or angry, but not quite like that. I just didn't-... [Kakyoin frowned slightly, trying to figure out how he wanted to say this. It was better to just say it and be clear, right?]
[He hesitated then, trying to fit words to a concept he wasn't sure how to explain, to put his finger on something he knew he'd seen but wasn't sure how to adequately pin down.
Most of the false starts, he found, began with I don't want you to feel like, and then fell short when he realized he didn't have the words to fill in the like what.
But...that. That, that moment with hands over his face, that ugly moment when his own nerves were exploding white and Hierophant landed on his collar.
That strange, open moment that had followed it, when he hadn't cared about much of anything because he'd been too preoccupied with what was right in front of him, when he'd pulled Kakyoin's hands away from his face and said I'm here — what he really wanted was to somehow say, I'll do that again, if you need it.
And of course, he had no idea how.]
...If you're —
[...]
...I didn't mind. That you did that. I still don't.
[It was right about then that it occurred to Kakyoin--he'd never used Hierophant like that at all. It answered his thoughts both conscious and unconscious, but it was the latter which found itself relevant in this instance. He'd wanted that contact, the concrete assurance that his friend and most reliable source of strength was directly beside him.]
[Kakyoin looked at his own hand with a distant stare, recalling the peculiar sensation that defied any real description. It wasn't like taking damage when Hierophant was struck in a fight, more...subtle and distant. A feather-light touch that was undeniably there without being direct.]
[Quietly--as though he'd just realized he should be answering with more than that--Kakyoin answered without looking up.]
[And what seemed like the right thing to do, just then, was to reach over and land his hand reassuringly on Kakyoin's shoulder, letting him feel the weight of the contact and hoping it adequately expressed some kind of support that he couldn't put into words.
So that's what he did.]
...Are you sleepy yet?
[Which was actually not a non sequitur so much as it was a thought that came about four stops down on a train of logic, without any indication of the ones in-between.]
[Dropping his hand back to his side, Kakyoin looked back to Jotaro with a hesitant smile. He didn't question the shift in topic; realizing he'd said something that might have been a little too openly sentimental, he was grateful for the sudden turn. (But probably more grateful for the touch to his shoulder keeping him a little more grounded in reality.)]
[Likewise, it was equally easy to manifest Star Platinum in his legs, pushing off with a power kick that sent him soaring up in a neat arc that landed him next to Kakyoin on the roof.]
...Is it better being up high?
[He said, looking around for a good place to sit down and surveying the view while he was at it.]
I like it, once in a while. Much as Hierophant hates the open space, I feel a little better standing at a good vantage point.
[Kakyoin, meanwhile, seemed to gravitate to a particular spot: facing just slightly southwest. It was the clearest view of the city possible while keeping the clock tower just out of his peripheral vision. That might have been a conscious choice and it might not have been, but the former was definitely the more likely option.]
[...Hmmm. That was interesting. Not so telling that he could immediately pick out why Kakyoin was adjusting to that particular view, but at least evident that he had a preferred one.]
[Shrugging slightly, he walked over and stepped deliberately behind Kakyoin, his vantage point made possible by the difference in their respective heights. With a glance to his shoulders, he adjusted himself to be standing at the same angle, and looked out over the view in an attempt to see the same thing Kakyoin was.
And maybe, why he'd gravitated to this view in particular.]
[Unexpected as that was, Kakyoin found he wasn't all that surprised. After the mess tonight had been maybe he'd just run out of the ability to be surprised at all.]
[...It was kind of reassuring, if he was being honest. This whole thing had just reinforced the idea that having Jotaro nearby was one of the few things that could keep Kakyoin completely grounded and miles away from his own uncertainty.]
[He shifted his hands to Kakyoin's shoulders, angling him slightly — and admittedly, a little more in the direction of the clocktower, but only because that was also the direction of the city's skyline as well.]
Look. It's dark all the way out at the horizon, but you can still see the shapes of the buildings even though the light isn't outlining them. It's not just nothingness, you can still see the things that are there.
You can see where the river is because of the way the light is refracting off of it.
...It's not like the desert was. There, the darkness kind of...came all the way down to the sand and filled up all the air around you. Like this you can see the shapes holding it back from doing that.
[This place was a different world in all possible ways, both literal and otherwise. A world where it wasn't just a group of six risking their lives against impossible odds, one where others existed that they could rely on and fight with.]
[The kind of impossible world where he wasn't alone.]
...I have to admit, I've grown to like it just a little.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:35 am (UTC)Hierophant hasn't acted independently on that level since I was a kid--I mean, he moves on his own when I'm nervous or angry, but not quite like that. I just didn't-... [Kakyoin frowned slightly, trying to figure out how he wanted to say this. It was better to just say it and be clear, right?]
...I didn't want you to leave.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 05:57 pm (UTC)Most of the false starts, he found, began with I don't want you to feel like, and then fell short when he realized he didn't have the words to fill in the like what.
But...that. That, that moment with hands over his face, that ugly moment when his own nerves were exploding white and Hierophant landed on his collar.
That strange, open moment that had followed it, when he hadn't cared about much of anything because he'd been too preoccupied with what was right in front of him, when he'd pulled Kakyoin's hands away from his face and said I'm here — what he really wanted was to somehow say, I'll do that again, if you need it.
And of course, he had no idea how.]
...If you're —
[...]
...I didn't mind. That you did that. I still don't.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:28 pm (UTC)[It was right about then that it occurred to Kakyoin--he'd never used Hierophant like that at all. It answered his thoughts both conscious and unconscious, but it was the latter which found itself relevant in this instance. He'd wanted that contact, the concrete assurance that his friend and most reliable source of strength was directly beside him.]
[Kakyoin looked at his own hand with a distant stare, recalling the peculiar sensation that defied any real description. It wasn't like taking damage when Hierophant was struck in a fight, more...subtle and distant. A feather-light touch that was undeniably there without being direct.]
[Quietly--as though he'd just realized he should be answering with more than that--Kakyoin answered without looking up.]
...I'm...really glad you're here with me, Jotaro.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:39 pm (UTC)So that's what he did.]
...Are you sleepy yet?
[Which was actually not a non sequitur so much as it was a thought that came about four stops down on a train of logic, without any indication of the ones in-between.]
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:44 pm (UTC)[Dropping his hand back to his side, Kakyoin looked back to Jotaro with a hesitant smile. He didn't question the shift in topic; realizing he'd said something that might have been a little too openly sentimental, he was grateful for the sudden turn. (But probably more grateful for the touch to his shoulder keeping him a little more grounded in reality.)]
What about you?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:48 pm (UTC)[...]
Let's go back up on the roof and hang out until someone gets tired.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:55 pm (UTC)[With a quick appearance from Hierophant he made it back up with barely a second thought, like this was just something he'd done every night.]
[It wasn't that routine, but it was close. Every other time he'd come up here, he'd been on his own with just his Stand and his own thoughts.]
[This, he immediately determined, was much better.]
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 06:59 pm (UTC)...Is it better being up high?
[He said, looking around for a good place to sit down and surveying the view while he was at it.]
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 07:16 pm (UTC)[Kakyoin, meanwhile, seemed to gravitate to a particular spot: facing just slightly southwest. It was the clearest view of the city possible while keeping the clock tower just out of his peripheral vision. That might have been a conscious choice and it might not have been, but the former was definitely the more likely option.]
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 07:41 pm (UTC)...
[He watched a moment, quietly.]
What're you looking at?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 07:44 pm (UTC)[Even if it was a conscious choice, the question itself looked like it just left him confused.]
Nothing in particular, why?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 07:51 pm (UTC)[...]
It still seems a little weird, having something like that be unlikely.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 07:59 pm (UTC)[Shrugging slightly, he walked over and stepped deliberately behind Kakyoin, his vantage point made possible by the difference in their respective heights. With a glance to his shoulders, he adjusted himself to be standing at the same angle, and looked out over the view in an attempt to see the same thing Kakyoin was.
And maybe, why he'd gravitated to this view in particular.]
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 08:14 pm (UTC)[Unexpected as that was, Kakyoin found he wasn't all that surprised. After the mess tonight had been maybe he'd just run out of the ability to be surprised at all.]
[...It was kind of reassuring, if he was being honest. This whole thing had just reinforced the idea that having Jotaro nearby was one of the few things that could keep Kakyoin completely grounded and miles away from his own uncertainty.]
...So what're you looking at?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 08:44 pm (UTC)[He shifted his hands to Kakyoin's shoulders, angling him slightly — and admittedly, a little more in the direction of the clocktower, but only because that was also the direction of the city's skyline as well.]
Look. It's dark all the way out at the horizon, but you can still see the shapes of the buildings even though the light isn't outlining them. It's not just nothingness, you can still see the things that are there.
You can see where the river is because of the way the light is refracting off of it.
...It's not like the desert was. There, the darkness kind of...came all the way down to the sand and filled up all the air around you. Like this you can see the shapes holding it back from doing that.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 09:07 pm (UTC)[This place was a different world in all possible ways, both literal and otherwise. A world where it wasn't just a group of six risking their lives against impossible odds, one where others existed that they could rely on and fight with.]
[The kind of impossible world where he wasn't alone.]
...I have to admit, I've grown to like it just a little.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-26 09:47 pm (UTC)I want to hear what there is for me to like, too.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 12:16 am (UTC)And I...as weird as it's been to get used to, I like that people can see Hierophant.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 12:23 am (UTC)All the other stuff aside, you were kind of an okay kid. Just as sneaky as you are now.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 12:25 am (UTC)[. . .]
I mean, not unless I need to be. What are you even talking about?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 12:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 12:30 am (UTC)Not decide to investigate the guy themselves.
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