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[lapidarius]

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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Comments

let's get wrecking that cake and kitchen tbh 1/??

[nextlineis]

kakyoin i need your help with something

2/??

[nextlineis]

well i dont know if you can help me but you spend a lot of time with holly right???

3/??

[nextlineis]

maybe i should have asked jotaro first

4/??

[nextlineis]

too late for that now i guess

5/5

[nextlineis]

but hey dont tell caesar about any of this okay
as long as you dont tell him, you can help

[lapidarius]

What does spending time with miss Holly have to do with it, what do you need me to do, and is it something Caesar's going to kick my ass for keeping a secret?

The answer to the third question is what my response hinges on, just so that's clear.

[nextlineis]

no no no i mean if he kicks anyones ass itll be mine because i put you up to it
but if he does that he's just being an asshole and i wouldnt take it personally

its caesar's birthday on the 13th
i dont know if he knows i know but knowing him, he wont want to make a big deal out of it and thats fine i guess but im not letting him get away with doing absolutely NOTHING

but fuck if i know what the hell im doing in a kitchen so i was thinking maybe holly taught you (or jotaro) something and we could work it out

[lapidarius]

[A pause.]

[Because at that moment, a switch went off in Kakyoin's head, and it was the switch labeled 'I Am Going To Aggressively Care About My Friends/Family Whether They Like It Or Not.']

[Sorry, Caesar, he is six thousand percent into this.]

fortunately for you, i am incredibly multitalented.

i can bake well enough completely independent of miss holly as a matter of fact, come over and i'll help you figure it out.

[nextlineis]

NO

we cant do it here otherwise caesar will know
thats the whole point of not telling caesar so hell be surprised

(and to keep him from trying to stop it before we can even get anything put together for him)

[IT'S TIME TO FORCE FUN ON MR. GRUMPYGILLS.]

[lapidarius]

well where the hell else are we going to do it

unless you want me to put up a barrier around the kitchen over at our house to make sure no one catches us

...that would actually be fairly easy

[nextlineis]

see? now youre thinking! this is exactly why i came to you first

youll have to be sure to tell caesar about doing that later since hes always bragging about how great hierophant is

[lapidarius]

he's seen me do it before, he already knows what hierophant's capable o

wait

wait he does what

[nextlineis]

if i say star is the best then he always starts going on about how great hierophant is too he really likes your stand, kakyoin
you didnt know that??

[lapidarius]

i mean

i knew he thought hierophant is the best stand (because he is) but i didn't realize he made a point of it

[. . .]

we're making him a cake get the hell over here

[nextlineis]

i knew i could count on you!

[lapidarius]

of course

i make every effort to be reliable when i'm needed

[nextlineis]

oh and i dont know if he told you or whatever and i probably should have told you sooner but
i told him

[lapidarius]

Figured that out for myself before Caesar said as much, actually. We talked about it a while ago.

I'm glad you did. I don't think he'd ever have done as much on his own, and that's not the kind of thing one should just ignore.

[nextlineis]

wait was he coming to you for advice???

[lapidarius]

I'm not at liberty to say what we might have talked about specifically.

But we've been known to talk to each other for things like that once in a while.

[nextlineis]

thats good

caesars used to being all on his own or having to take care of everyone all the time you know
so having someone he can talk to (besides me anyway) thats good

[lapidarius]

We're kind of similar in a lot of ways. So I think sometimes we both find it easier to talk to the other than it is to talk to most people.

[nextlineis]

[Joseph doesn't know Kakyoin quite well enough to agree with that 110% with certainty, but he'd be stupid to deny there aren't some obvious parallels. Painful ones, too, unfortunately.]

yeah i guess you are
more similar than he and i are anyway
i know he doesnt think im just some rich brat whos been spoiled and pampered his whole life anymore but i never lived the way he did theres stuff i wont ever really be able to understand even if i try really hard

[Joseph supposes that's the difference now about how Caesar thinks about Joseph. The fact he had a pretty easy life up until recently does set them apart, but Caesar gets that Joseph tries to understand a lot more than he initially thought. Which in all fairness just wasn't always true, but things changed. Joseph changed. A lot.]

but you two balance each other out too
he gets pissed pretty easily and if it gets to a certain point he stops listening altogether
youre the opposite in probably not getting pissed enough
maybe im wrong but i think you probably help him cool it and he probably tries to help you not just take whatever shit someones dishing out to you

[lapidarius]

I'm starting to doubt it's really possible to understand anyone perfectly. Even making the attempt might not help, but the fact that you acknowledge you can't while still caring enough to try and sympathize still says a lot.

[boy don't it just hurt like hell]

Oh, I think you'd be mistaken to think I don't have a difficult temper of my own. Just ask Polnareff sometime, I'm sure he'd love to regale you with how insufferable I get when I'm angry. However I will admit Caesar's fuse is much, much shorter than mine.

[nextlineis]

oh my god how can you ever be mad at polnareff???