[It was clear, from the moment he appeared when he came through the door, that something was Seriously Up. Apparently impatient to get outside, he already had a cigarette hanging from his lips as he came down and walked outside, but the real proof seemed to be in his hands — and the relative lack of grace in the tasks they were trying to accomplish. He was fumbling with his pack of cigarettes, seemingly unable to get them to fit back into his pocket and trying to brute force it rather than slowing down to find and remedy the problem; his closed lighter wasn't even in his other hand, but in one of Star Platinum's, as though it was either unsteady enough or untrustworthy enough to handle the possibility of a lit flame whenever he did decide to strike it lit.
When he saw Kakyoin, though, that all went by the wayside. Instead, he abandoned the attempts at lighting up in favor of gravitating over in a hurry, shoulders sagging and eyes distant in a hollow, unmistakable thousand-yard stare.]
[Kakyoin dropped his arms to his sides and stepped closer, realizing being patient and passive wouldn't help right now. That was fine; he could take the initiative when Jotaro wasn't able to.They could and did support each other, compensating for what the other lacked and always coming out as a better team for it.]
[...had he really been considering himself a burden knowing that was true?]
...it's okay. [he raised a hand again, bringing it to rest against Jotaro's face with a steady smile.] Talk to me. I'll listen.
[Abandoning the lighter and pack fully now, leaving them carelessly to the care of Star Platinum, he leaned into Kakyoin's hand on his face and kept going, kept moving toward him until he was close enough to pull him into his arms and just hold on.]
You don't have to do anything. Just be here. With me. And alive. Please.
[He put his other arm around Jotaro's waist, giving him a little more concrete security that Kakyoin wasn't going anywhere right now.]
I'm fine--I mean that. I'm alive and breathing, with every intention of staying that way. Nothing's going to happen, and I'm going to stay right here where I belong. Understand?
[Unmindful of the fact that they were out in the open, at least for the moment, he simply held still and hung on to Kakyoin for a little while, until at last the other facets of the situation began to drift back in and he tensed slightly.]
[Quietly, he shifted his grip to better support his weight, and in a heartbeat Star Platinum had manifested in his legs, letting him kick off and arc up onto the roof with the same practiced ease he'd employed so many times before.
Once up, he wasted no time in finding a seat and bringing Kakyoin down with him, trying to give him his space while still obviously reluctant to let him go.]
[Kakyoin hesitated long enough to evaluate how much space Jotaro anted between them before quickly concluding they had the same idea on that front. He leaned against the other teenager's side, reaching over to take his hand.]
[He stared at his hands, cigarette dangling so low it almost looked like it was about to fall at the slightest breath, and stayed quiet for a long time — but gradually, it seemed, found his voice.]
If someone's going to die, and you can prevent it, you should. Right? Doesn't that just make sense? Why would you just let someone die and not try to do something about it?
...Jiji died. In Cairo. That's why he was there, in all that shit we saw. Dio threw a knife through his throat. Came back later and drained him of blood. The Foundation doctors said he was gone...but Star and I restarted his heart, and I made them save him.
[Oh. With Izabel being the other person in this equation, Kakyoin suspected he had a reasonable grasp of the problem. And the problem was that neither of them were really right or wrong. Of course, saving Joseph Joestar was the correct option.]
['I don't know what to do about it.' 'Do about...being dead? You kind of do nothing.']
[Izabel seemed convinced there was finality to death, and maybe she was right. Normally, she would be right. Maybe on a fundamental level, the 'right' choice to them was something horrifying--hadn't Kakyoin felt the same when he'd last talked to Buccellati?]
[It wasn't morally wrong to bring him back, but it may not have been 'right' on some other level.]
I don't think...it really works like that, where she's from. [He shut the pocketwatch, turning it over a few times in his hand with a distant stare.]
I'm not arguing or going back on what I said--you made the right choice. But I kind of think her perspective on death may be much different than ours.
[He set the watch aside and pulled his hand away, moving to put his arms around Jotaro's shoulders instead. Unfortunately, Kakyoin found there really wasn't much he could say; he didn't want to take a side in this when he couldn't argue against either of them.]
It's okay, Jotaro. You did the right thing.
[In a much, much different way than Giorno apparently had.]
[He'd been doing so well, honestly. Really he had. Making strides forward, putting things behind him. Confronting his latent, deep-seated fears. Putting himself back together, despite the regrets and the grief.
How could one stupid sentence land such a crushing blow against all that?
Honestly, through the whirlwind of thoughts and the haze of upset that was his train of thought just then, it was difficult to say whether it was really about Jiji. Was it, truly, the thought of at least I saved one, and the possibility of having some small scrap of triumph taken away from him?
Was it the implication that he'd done what he thought was right, and been wrong? That his judgment was flawed, he couldn't trust it?
Was it that, if the dead were supposed to stay dead and you had to just walk away and leave them there, then by extension any hope of finding a means of restoring Kakyoin, as well, was already worthless from the start?
Why was one single fucking sentence fucking him up so much?]
I just needed to see you.
[He hesitated, leaning a little more heavily on Kakyoin, now that their arrangement had shifted and the angle of support had changed.]
...Thought about going off on my own. But I figured...I better find you first.
Thanks. I would have been worried if you just disappeared.
[Kakyoin hugged him tightly, trying to make sure they both knew that they were there--that Kakyoin himself was still breathing, that they were both just alive for right now.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 05:55 am (UTC)When he saw Kakyoin, though, that all went by the wayside. Instead, he abandoned the attempts at lighting up in favor of gravitating over in a hurry, shoulders sagging and eyes distant in a hollow, unmistakable thousand-yard stare.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:13 am (UTC)...
[Kakyoin dropped his arms to his sides and stepped closer, realizing being patient and passive wouldn't help right now. That was fine; he could take the initiative when Jotaro wasn't able to.They could and did support each other, compensating for what the other lacked and always coming out as a better team for it.]
[...had he really been considering himself a burden knowing that was true?]
...it's okay. [he raised a hand again, bringing it to rest against Jotaro's face with a steady smile.] Talk to me. I'll listen.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:34 am (UTC)You don't have to do anything. Just be here. With me. And alive. Please.
[...]
Please. I don't want to be alone right now.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:38 am (UTC)[He put his other arm around Jotaro's waist, giving him a little more concrete security that Kakyoin wasn't going anywhere right now.]
I'm fine--I mean that. I'm alive and breathing, with every intention of staying that way. Nothing's going to happen, and I'm going to stay right here where I belong. Understand?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:57 am (UTC)[Unmindful of the fact that they were out in the open, at least for the moment, he simply held still and hung on to Kakyoin for a little while, until at last the other facets of the situation began to drift back in and he tensed slightly.]
...Can we go sit on the roof?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:01 am (UTC)[Well.]
...Do you want to do it? Or I can. If.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:02 am (UTC)...Go ahead. I won't complain about it, just this once.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:09 am (UTC)[Quietly, he shifted his grip to better support his weight, and in a heartbeat Star Platinum had manifested in his legs, letting him kick off and arc up onto the roof with the same practiced ease he'd employed so many times before.
Once up, he wasted no time in finding a seat and bringing Kakyoin down with him, trying to give him his space while still obviously reluctant to let him go.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:18 am (UTC)...are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:23 am (UTC)[And he allowed it, relaxing fractionally against the arrival of Kakyoin's weight against him.]
I meant just seeing you would be enough, if it had to be. Not that it's the only thing.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:28 am (UTC)[He took a breath and closed his eyes, sighing quietly.]
Okay--I get it. Then is there anything else that would help?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 04:41 pm (UTC)[He stared at his hands, cigarette dangling so low it almost looked like it was about to fall at the slightest breath, and stayed quiet for a long time — but gradually, it seemed, found his voice.]
If someone's going to die, and you can prevent it, you should. Right? Doesn't that just make sense? Why would you just let someone die and not try to do something about it?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 04:49 pm (UTC)I...yeah. I can't really think of a reason someone wouldn't do that.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 04:52 pm (UTC)[Leaning against his friend's shoulder a little more insistently, Kakyoin squeezed his hand lightly.]
What happened?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 05:22 pm (UTC)Guess I was supposed to leave him dead.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 05:51 pm (UTC)[Oh. With Izabel being the other person in this equation, Kakyoin suspected he had a reasonable grasp of the problem. And the problem was that neither of them were really right or wrong. Of course, saving Joseph Joestar was the correct option.]
['I don't know what to do about it.'
'Do about...being dead? You kind of do nothing.']
[Izabel seemed convinced there was finality to death, and maybe she was right. Normally, she would be right. Maybe on a fundamental level, the 'right' choice to them was something horrifying--hadn't Kakyoin felt the same when he'd last talked to Buccellati?]
[It wasn't morally wrong to bring him back, but it may not have been 'right' on some other level.]
I don't think...it really works like that, where she's from. [He shut the pocketwatch, turning it over a few times in his hand with a distant stare.]
I'm not arguing or going back on what I said--you made the right choice. But I kind of think her perspective on death may be much different than ours.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:02 pm (UTC)[He sank a little lower into himself, body language clearly indicating an attempt to withdraw into himself like a particularly seething turtle.]
...The one fucking thing I did right, that night. And she's giving me shit like this about it. Yare yare...
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:11 pm (UTC)...Come here.
[He set the watch aside and pulled his hand away, moving to put his arms around Jotaro's shoulders instead. Unfortunately, Kakyoin found there really wasn't much he could say; he didn't want to take a side in this when he couldn't argue against either of them.]
It's okay, Jotaro. You did the right thing.
[In a much, much different way than Giorno apparently had.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 06:51 pm (UTC)How could one stupid sentence land such a crushing blow against all that?
Honestly, through the whirlwind of thoughts and the haze of upset that was his train of thought just then, it was difficult to say whether it was really about Jiji. Was it, truly, the thought of at least I saved one, and the possibility of having some small scrap of triumph taken away from him?
Was it the implication that he'd done what he thought was right, and been wrong? That his judgment was flawed, he couldn't trust it?
Was it that, if the dead were supposed to stay dead and you had to just walk away and leave them there, then by extension any hope of finding a means of restoring Kakyoin, as well, was already worthless from the start?
Why was one single fucking sentence fucking him up so much?]
I just needed to see you.
[He hesitated, leaning a little more heavily on Kakyoin, now that their arrangement had shifted and the angle of support had changed.]
...Thought about going off on my own. But I figured...I better find you first.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-30 07:15 pm (UTC)[Kakyoin hugged him tightly, trying to make sure they both knew that they were there--that Kakyoin himself was still breathing, that they were both just alive for right now.]