lapidarius | rubycity_rp ic inbox

lapidarius

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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From:

lapidarius

[Well, at least he wouldn't have an aquatic hellraiser to worry about. Kakyoin found his way back to his room quickly enough, walking in and shutting the door behind him.]

...Asking if you're okay is probably a stupid question, huh?

From:

starmark

[Ah, just like old times. Sharing hotel rooms like students. Consequently, Jotaro's on the floor and leaning against the bed with his knees drawn up, evidently unwilling to go so far as to commandeer Kakyoin's bed outright, but making himself comfortable anyway.]

...You want the truth? It's...more like I'm worried about whether you are, and I think it's because dwelling on you is easier than trying to figure myself out right now.

[...]

Hi.

From:

lapidarius

Yeah. [Kakyoin sighed heavily, curling the end of his hair around one finger before letting his hand fall away.] It's the same for me. I don't even know if I'm okay or not right now.

[Walking over, he sat down next to Jotaro and leaned on his shoulder almost automatically.]

...Hi.

From:

starmark

...Are you fine like that? Or would you rather...

[He hesitated momentarily, motioning vaguely in a way that was apparently an attempt at indicating the way they'd sat together the previous time they'd done this, in front of each other rather than side by side.]

I won't just pick you up and move you this time.

From:

lapidarius

...yeah.

[Deciding that actually didn't sound like a bad idea, Kakyoin shifted position to sit in front of him instead.]

It'll be okay, Jojo. I don't really know how, but we'll be able to figure something out.

From:

starmark

[Good, he was much more satisfied with being able to cinch up his arms around Kakyoin and hold him close in a way that was perhaps just slightly more protective and possessive than usual.]

I know that.

...I don't think we're going to get a lot of chances to just. Sit around being a little fucked up. We're gonna have to act like we know what we're doing, probably a lot more than we actually do.

So. If you want to just...be a little fucked up. Right now.

I'm fine with that, is what I'm saying.

From:

lapidarius

...I'm fine with that too, just so we're clear. [He leaned his head back against Jotaro's shoulder, starting to look as tired as he felt about the whole thing.]

There's not much point in acting like we have any clue what we're doing right now, after all.

From:

starmark

...Nori.

[Unable to help himself, his hands drifted to settle near Kakyoin's waist, close but not quite covering where he knew the ugly scars of a once-fatal battle still lingered; all things considered, the use of a name gentler and quieter than "Kakyoin" probably wasn't a coincidence.]

I'm not...going to tell you what you should or shouldn't be feeling. And I know how you feel about admitting to something like this.

...But if you're scared, it's okay to say so right now. Okay?

From:

lapidarius

I'm not afraid of him.

[The answer came without hesitation, but lacked the defensive force of outright denial. It was stated as a simple fact; there were definitely aspects of the situation Kakyoin feared, but Dio himself was not one of them.]

I'm not going to be scared of some kid, even if it's him. But it could have been worse, and it could still get worse at some point in the future. What I'm afraid of is what happens if we end up in a situation like that...if things get so bad that even all of us together won't be able to win.

From:

starmark

Yeah.

[He breathed in slowly, seeming to mull on that as gradually the subconscious tension in his muscles began to relax from the proximity.]

Have you been able to sleep lately?

From:

lapidarius

I was doing better, but I kind of expect that's going to change.

[Kakyoin put one hand over Jotaro's, squeezing lightly.]

...I know you're going to be worried about me, and I'm not going to give you hell for it this time. But you know I'm going to insist this goes both ways. So I want to know if you're upset or afraid in this whole mess, too.

From:

starmark

I asked you to come and be with me like this, didn't I?

[He fell silent a minute.]

...I'm. I think I'm trying to shut down again. Stop feeling everything and just handle the problem. I hurt people when I do that, and I don't want to.

From:

lapidarius

For what it might be worth, I'm glad that you aren't, even if we're both pretty likely to try at some point.

From:

starmark

...It's easier. Less to figure out.

[...]

I know how I feel about you.

From:

lapidarius

...It's not so bad to have something like that to focus on, right?

From:

starmark

Don't make it sound like you're just means to an end.

From:

lapidarius

I didn't mean it like that, Jojo. I just...

[. . .]

It's easier for me to concentrate when you're here. Right now, I'm not nearly as worried about all of this--because I really do believe it when I say we can't lose together.

From:

starmark

I know. I was teasing.

What I mean is...don't think that it could be anyone other than you, and still make me feel that way.

From:

lapidarius

...That's the case for me, too. There isn't anyone else I could fit this well with in every possible way. And there's no way I could love anyone else this much.