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[lapidarius]

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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Comments

[silvercrusader]

hey so thanks for that japanese pickup line by the way holly was really flattered

[lapidarius]

YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY IT TO MISS HOLLY

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

[silvercrusader]

i don't know who else you thought i'd use it on
i'm not actually in love with your boyfriend
but holly's a catch and i figure she could do worse than me
anyway like i said she seemed really flattered!! we're gonna meet up once she rests up a little

[You know what the best part about this is? It's totally Jotaro sanctioned.]

[lapidarius]

I DIDN'T TELL YOU IT WAS A PICKUP LINE I THOUGHT YOU'D SHOW OFF TO JOJO

AND YOU LEAVE MISS HOLLY ALONE SHE'S MARRIED AND ALSO I WILL ACTUALLY STRANGLE YOU

[silvercrusader]

YOU were the one that said it was romantic
what does it mean

also she's married but it might be an open marriage
she's her own woman she can tell me to fuck off on her own if she wants

[lapidarius]

[MUFFLED FRUSTRATED SCREAMING FROM JOTAKAK'S ROOM]

I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT IT MEANS SO DON'T FLIRT WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS EFFECTIVELY ACTED LIKE MY MOTHER OR I'LL MAIM YOU ON PRINCIPLE

THEN I'LL ASK GIORNO TO FIX YOU AND THEN I'LL TELL JOJO SO HE CAN BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU

[leave second mom alone]

[silvercrusader]

as your future father in law i'm pretty disappointed by this attitude kakyoin

[lapidarius]

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAあああああああああああああああああああああ]

don't

as your friend i am obligated to give you an escape before i'm even more obligated to hit you

this is that escape route and i suggest you use it

[silvercrusader]

noriaki if you're gonna court my and holly's blessing this isn't the way to go about it

speaking of which i could use your and giorno's help picking out a wedding suit
maybe a dress for holly as well but i won't speak for my beloved, she might have something in mind already

[Buddy, he'll keep going all day.]

[lapidarius]

you are UNBELIEVABLE what on earth is wrong with you

[polnareff is something small, green, and shiny sneaking its way under your door...?]

[silvercrusader]

[It absolutely might be, but Polnareff is too busy laughing on his bed to notice.]

YOU are the one who gave me that ROMANTIC LINE
this is ON YOU

[lapidarius]

LIKE HELL IT IS YOU'RE THE ONE GOING AROUND FLIRTING WITH JOTARO'S MOTHER IN A LANGUAGE YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND

[good because someone is up to some sneaky shit]

[silvercrusader]

[That's so rude. This isn't how he wanted to see Hierophant. The sneaky Stand attacks were supposed to end after Egypt.]

are you implying you can't ever flirt with somebody's mother
because boy i've got news for you i'll flirt with anyone's mom
jotaro's
yours
heck i flirted with suzie the other day

[lapidarius]

YOU LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS I SWEAR TO GOD POLNAREFF

[Suzie he was concerned about primarily because Kakyoin wasn't sure Caesar wouldn't literally, actually, legitimately murder Polnareff if he heard about it.]

AND I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY TO YOU ABOUT THAT

[silvercrusader]

are you gonna shriek it through the door or what

[--wait a second, what kind of lead-up is that-- Polnareff sits up sharply, squinting, but of course, it's a little too late.]

[lapidarius]

No. I'm going to give you your second lesson in Japanese.

[Too late indeed, Polnareff. You poor, doomed bastard.]

[Hierophant had already formed its upper body and risen up behind him, hands together in the same practiced motion with the same ethereal glow-]

エメラルドスプラッシュ。

[...and let out an assault that was more 'splash' than 'emerald', spraying Polnareff with cold bright green water and a single emerald to whack him solidly in the head.]

[silvercrusader]

Motherfucker!

[What an apt curse.

Actually, it doesn't hurt that badly-- that one solid whack from an emerald aside, and he doesn't think it'll bruise. Polnareff is left wet and mildly irritated, but unharmed.

That doesn't mean he isn't wearing the surliest expression possible as he turns to face Hierophant.]

For crissake, I didn't talk to Holly, I'm not stupid. Although you know, I gave you a bunch of actual romantic lines in French!

[lapidarius]

How was I supposed to know?!

[Says Kakyoin's voice channeled through Hierophant's of-course-he-has-a-mouth. The Stand crossed its arms, no doubt in perfect unison with its user in the next room.]

What did you expect me to do if you're saying dumb shit like that? [at least he didn't break your nose.]

[silvercrusader]

[He should probably find this weird-- but maybe that's the benefit of having grown up with a Stand. He talks to Hierophant as if he was Kakyoin--because, of course, he is.]

I don't know! Not assaulting me! You wanna hit somebody, hit Jotaro, this was his idea!

[He's not actually angry, for the record. A little annoyed, perhaps, but even that is fading. Polnareff heads into the bathroom to begin washing off all that splash-- and then, over his shoulder, called to Hierophant:]

Next time I'm going to just teach you French filth.

[lapidarius]

. . .

[If Hierophant's face was capable of looking embarrassed, that's probably what he was doing.]

I can't say I didn't deserve that a little but two on one is hardly fair.

[It's only fair if he's on the right team.]

[silvercrusader]

Well, if you wanna get him back, I'm always willing to play turncoat.

[He glances at Hierophant despite himself, pleased by that. He's never seen the Stand emote much. It's fascinating.]

[lapidarius]

Oh, really? [Further proving that Hierophant must have been directly matching whatever its user was doing or thinking at that particular moment, one of his hands made a particularly odd gesture near his face--on the other side of the door, Kakyoin was curling the end of his hair around his finger.]

What did you have in mind?

[silvercrusader]

[It takes him a moment-- but Polnareff barks out a laugh once he realizes what it is Hierophant is doing.]

That depends on how far you're willing to go. And if you want to keep in the sexy/romantic theme we're on or not.

[lapidarius]

I--wait, what's so funny?

[Another weird gesture, this time pushing up glasses Hierophant obviously wasn't wearing.]

You're not just messing with me again, are you?

[silvercrusader]

No, no-- it's just, uh--

[He grins-- not that Hierophant can see. Can he? He doesn't know if Kakyoin can see through Hierophant's eyes.]

He mirrors you. So he looks like he's pushing up glasses he doesn't have or winding his hair around his fingers. It's cute.