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[lapidarius]

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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Comments

[digiorno]

[This story, which is dramatic and exciting enough all on its own, is peppered throughout with oohs, ahs, and gasps from the peanut gallery, population: one. Giorno's day just keeps getting better and better, honestly, and when Kakyoin gets to the vengeful telekinetic part he wiggles closer and wraps his arms around Kakyoin's arm with the world's most intense and attentive stare.]

[HE IS INTERESTED. HE IS PAYING ATTENTION. WITNESS HIM.]

[And when the story is done, he's all smiles, squeezing Kakyoin's arm and then lacing their fingers together and wiggling his toes out of a truly absurd level of satisfaction at this kid he's never met before getting his ass totally handed to him.]

You are so wonderful and so perfect and I love you so much. My only regret is that I really don't want anyone to say anything rude to you, but I also want to watch you make someone regret doing it.

[He lives the most difficult life imaginable. Save him from this.]

[lapidarius]

[Giorno, oh my god.]

[Kakyoin honestly never got tired of seeing him overeager and excited. You know, like a normal kid was probably supposed to be (not that he of all people knew for sure).]

I love you too, Giorno. I'm sure someone's bound to say something stupid eventually. Or I could just beat up Polnareff sometime, but that might be mean even by my standards.

[digiorno]

He made me mad! I forgave him, but you can still beat him up a little bit. Or at least threaten to.

[Giorno that is your FATHER]

You make me really happy. I like that you don't let what other people think change you like that. I think that makes you really strong, you know?

[lapidarius]

I'm sure he's used to that much by now.

[YOU TWO]

Does it? I just think it only proves I'm stubborn. I'm not going to change my hair just because a few people think I might look like a girl, and I'm sure you wouldn't either.

[digiorno]

I think it can be both. I think sometimes stubbornness is a strength, too. But maybe I just think that because I'm just as stubborn as you are.

[He wrinkles his nose.]

Hmm, if people say something like that I usually just do it more, and louder. [AY YO FUCK YO BEAUTY STANDARDS, said Giorno Giovanna, probably.]

[lapidarius]

I also think your confidence is practically a force of nature.

[digiorno]

Yes, because I've had a lot of practice! You can't be don without being confident, coltellino.

[lapidarius]

Oh, is that an official documented qualification somewhere? I shouldn't be surprised.

[digiorno]

Mmhmm, you have to be very very confident and at least 70% pure lethality. I am thinking about raising the cuteness standard also.

[no uggos.]

[lapidarius]

Pretty rigid standards. But I guess you can't let just anyone join Passione, the whole organization would be a mess.

[digiorno]

No, I really can't. All sorts of awful people used to be in it, and I have to get rid of a lot of them.

[By definitely not murdering them??? Um.]

It's okay, though. You still qualify.

[lapidarius]

Really? You think I'm 70% lethality? That's pretty high praise.

[digiorno]

You're at least 90, don't be silly.

[lapidarius]

Careful, you're going to make me sound a little too dangerous.

[digiorno]

. . . I don't think that's a thing, Kakyoin.

[lapidarius]

I'm pretty sure I don't go around punching everyone, I'm not Jotaro.

[digiorno]

I think you're more violent than he is.

[lapidarius]

You think correctly. I'm just more subtle about it.

[digiorno]

Sometimes.

[lapidarius]

Usually.

[digiorno]

Mmmm, half the time.

[lapidarius]

Fine, I think I can live with half.

[digiorno]

Good, because you're perfect just the way you are. Halfway subtle.

[lapidarius]

So are you. Though I don't think 'subtle' is really in your vocabulary.

[digiorno]

That's so rude.