lapidarius | rubycity_rp ic inbox

lapidarius

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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From:

lapidarius

It's okay, really. You don't have to thank me, I just wanted to help.

['Because you keep useful things as long as they're useful.']

[Whether Kakyoin consciously knew what he was doing or not--and he didn't--the fact that he'd been able to do something positive about the situation was enough.]

From:

starmark

...Hey. Hierophant's out, and taking you back to your room if I have to isn't any trouble, so...

[Um. Okay, maybe that was sort of an awkward lead-in, but they couldn't all be winners.]

...If you want to try to get some sleep, I'll take care of —

[It?]

— you.

From:

lapidarius

Oh--

[Hierophant didn't move, but Kakyoin himself seemed to pull back and straighten up.]

Right, it's...late, isn't it? Should I just...just leave so you can sleep and save you the trouble in the first place?

From:

starmark

Kakyoin.

[His voice came quietly, without reproach, but still gently firm.]

Listen to what I'm saying. If you want to try to fall asleep here, while it's quiet and Hierophant and I are both with you, that's what I'm offering.

If you want that, say yes and come over here.

From:

lapidarius

...

[Of course he wanted it. Kakyoin had wanted to sit next to him this entire time, but there was 'what he wanted' and 'what was probably expected of him'. So he'd settled on letting Hierophant take that position--until now, when he was outright given the option rather than considering taking it for himself.]

[Slowly, he stood up and crossed the room to sit down next to Jotaro, Hierophant loosely around both their shoulders.]

...okay.

From:

starmark

...I promise you can't lose this hand, no matter what cards you play. I promise.

[He worked one arm free, wrapping it loosely around Kakyoin's back with his hand slung low to sit in the curve of his waist.]

Do what it takes to get comfortable. Nothing you do is going to be wrong, I promise. So take a chance, Kakyoin. You won't lose.

From:

lapidarius

[He didn't flinch at where Jotaro's arm had stopped, but it took a second or two for Kakyoin to actually relax with it there. He wasn't exactly in pain as often anymore; for now, his biggest problem seemed to be that the lingering damage was still a sensitive point.]

I can't lose, huh...? [Hesitantly, Kakyoin moved a little closer and put his arms around Jotaro's waist, cautiously leaning his head on the taller student's shoulder.]

So this is okay, right?

From:

starmark

You can't lose. It's okay, I'm right here.

[It really wasn't burdensome at all, either; Kakyoin was just about the right height to settle in comfortably, and the weight of his head on Jotaro's shoulder was pleasant in its own way.]

You can relax like this...right?

From:

lapidarius

...I guess that depends on whether or not you can.

From:

starmark

...

[Okay. Okay. So how was he supposed to navigate something like...hnnnnngh.]

I like it when you're close by.

From:

lapidarius

So you're okay with this? Tell me the truth; don't say what you think I should hear.

[...]

I feel better when I'm close to you. But I want to be sure it's something you definitely want as well.

From:

starmark

...How do I help you be sure? What does it take?

[He shifted, leaning over to rest his chin atop Kakyoin's head, nestled in soft red hair.]

I want you to be able to believe me, I want you to know the way I feel about things, too. I...need you to show me how to do that.

[He took a slow breath, letting it out again as he held Kakyoin a little tighter.]

If I might need to say things more than once, that's okay. Just tell me, so I know. Because when I don't know, it feels like...you ask me to say it again and I don't know why. I don't understand what was wrong with it the first time.

That's not your fault. I just need to understand, and I don't. So help me...?

From:

lapidarius

...I don't think there was anything wrong with it. And it's not...it's not that I don't trust you or don't believe you.

[Kakyoin held him a little tighter once Jotaro had done the same, only just stopping himself from outright clinging.]

It's myself that I end up doubting at times like this. I worry that I'm not worth the effort and time put into things like this, or that I'll make a mistake and ruin the whole thing beyond repair. I ask you to repeat yourself because I...need to know that you're sure. I need to give you the chance to reconsider the situation, just to be certain this is what you want, too.

...it's stupid. I know. I'm sorry--it's not your fault that I end up thinking like that.

From:

starmark

It's not stupid. And neither are you.

[...]

There are some promises I can't make. Ones I won't, because I can't risk not being able to keep them. But if I do ever leave you alone, it won't be by choice.

[He paused, silent a moment.]

And if it's not by choice, then you'd better come after me, because I'll be fighting on the other side to get back to you.

From:

lapidarius

You know that I will. If anything like that happens, I won't give up until we manage to fix it. [That time Kakyoin didn't stop himself from holding on like his life depended on it, clutching the fabric of Jotaro's shirt without thinking.]

I can't...promise that I'll be able to go back. You know that, and so do I. But I have to believe that it's possible, because I don't-...

[Trailing off, Kakyoin reconsidered what he was about to say and forced back the quiet statement of I don't want to die. There was no need to make it worse, as tangled in guilt and pain on both sides as the matter already was.]

[But after a few seconds, he hid his face against Jotaro's shoulder and kept speaking quietly.]

...I want to go home. I want to tell my parents how much I screwed up and ask them to forgive me for it. I just...want to figure out how to have as normal of a life as people like us can. And I'm worried out of my mind that I might not get a chance to do any of that.

From:

starmark

...With the way people have been showing up here, I don't think it's just coincidence anymore. I think something got screwed up, and that's why we're all...flooding in, from different times and places like that.

[But that didn't actually answer much of anything; it was just a thought, floating idly in the quiet.]

If we go home, together...what do you want to do? That normal life, how do you want it to start?

From:

lapidarius

[There was a long silence in which Kakyoin didn't answer. He wasn't even sure what normal was, much less where to start with it.]

I...want to try and explain this to my parents. Hierophant and Egypt at the absolute minimum, if they'll even believe me. That should be the first thing I do when I get back. Maybe send flowers or something to that nurse I screwed up, or check in on that kid that took a pen to the eye.

...So I guess 'damage control' is the best way to summarize the answer to that.

From:

starmark

...Forget about the damage control. I mean like...us.

Have you thought about that?

From:

lapidarius

...I...don't know. I have no idea what'd be the right way to approach any of this, really.

[...]

What do you think about it?

From:

starmark

...I think I want to go to university. For marine biology, or wildlife conservation or something. Something where I can work outside, maybe by the water. Helping animals.

[...]

So I guess that means going back to school and graduating, and...

From:

lapidarius

I'd like something to that effect too. Studying art or maybe geology, I don't really know which. But you'd still graduate a year before me...that'd probably be an annoyance as far as seeing each other goes, huh?