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[lapidarius]

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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Comments

[lapidarius]

Of course I do. What is it?

[digiorno]

We need to discuss how we're going to move forward on the issue at hand. Would you prefer to do that here or in person?

[lapidarius]

It's probably better to do that in person. I'm available right now, if you want me to meet you somewhere.

[digiorno]

Meet me at the coffee shop at your earliest convenience, then.

[lapidarius]

[That, as it happened, was pretty early. Kakyoin couldn't have gotten there much more than fifteen minutes later at most. Heaven forbid he keep a mafia boss waiting.]

Giovanna? Sorry, that took a little longer than I'd hoped.

[digiorno]

[See, this is why they get along so well. All this promptness. Giorno was seated at his customary table as per usual, although admittedly his smile was a touch on the weak side as he waved Kakyoin over.]

It's all right, I wasn't in any particular hurry. How are you holding up?

[lapidarius]

I'm managing, I think. [He walked over and sat down, taking off his sunglasses.] I've expected him to show up since the day I got here myself. As far as the situation goes, ours could be much worse right now.

[digiorno]

I'm glad you see it that way. I think . . . well, no, I know that while he might be dangerous in his own right now, the vast majority of the damage he's capable of doing is tangential - just by being here, by existing in our space.

[lapidarius]

You don't need to tell me that twice, I assure you. He might be dangerous, but I'd rather be dealing with an unpleasant preteen kid than the alternative.

[Kakyoin didn't really expect he'd be getting a whole lot of sleep for a while, with everyone's favorite not-yet-vampire in the city.]

...What about you--are you okay?

[digiorno]

Hmm.

[That is. Such a good question.]

I think . . . I might be too okay? [Is that a thing you can be? He gives a helpless shrug.]

[lapidarius]

I'm not sure I understand. Like...you're expecting you should be worse?

[digiorno]

Mm . . . I think maybe I'm not letting myself feel anything about it.

[lapidarius]

...Oh.

[Yeah, that...actually made sense.]

I think I might understand that, to a point.

[digiorno]

Do you? I don't.

[And he was kind of annoyed about it.]

[lapidarius]

If I had to guess--and this is only a guess, I can't claim to speak for what you're feeling with any accuracy--could it be that you're focusing so much on the rest of us that you're simply shutting down anything to do with yourself?

[...]

...because I catch myself doing that, once in a while. Or something similar.

[digiorno]

Mm. Maybe.

[That . . . sounds about right, actually. He rests his chin on his hand.]

What makes you do that? What situations make that response happen?

[lapidarius]

[Kakyoin paused, looking like he was trying to work out his own logic and reasoning. He had a pretty good idea of what the issue was, but phrasing it was going to be difficult.]

I know that I can rely on myself and only myself if I have to, and manage well enough in doing so--I've done that my whole life, so I'm used to it. So I prioritize what other people might need or want before I worry about myself--this is outside of a combat situation, of course, that's a completely different set of circumstances.

For the sake of simplicity, let me take this to a specific level and use Jotaro as an example. When he first got to this city, all I was worried about was what seeing me again must have been doing to him. And because of that, there's a fair amount of things I haven't told him...because even if I want to be able to confide in him I can deal with it myself, and saying it out loud would only end up hurting him.

Not causing him pain takes priority over letting myself talk about what happened. It applies on a larger scale, too...in short, 'I can take care of myself, but I don't want my friends to suffer'. Does that make sense?

[digiorno]

. . . You know.

[The flattest look.]

Eventually we're going to have to stop being so similar, Kakyoin, it's getting strange.

[lapidarius]

...

[Kakyoin's serious expression turned to a smirk at first, but that quickly broke into a laugh hidden behind his hand.]

You're probably right.

[digiorno]

[Giorno didn't quite laugh, but. Close. Pretty damn close.]

I came here to talk about my plan. But now I think that might be stupid. Maybe . . .

It really does change things, doesn't it? If you grow up feeling alone or if you don't. It changes how you handle hard times.

[lapidarius]

I've never really stopped to think about that before. Now that you point it out, it seems...painfully obvious.

It's probably a little twisted to say that I'm used to being unhappy or anything like that, but...I'd rather it was me than him. I know I can handle it, and I know he shouldn't have to. None of us should, but if any of us had to then I'd be fine with it.

[digiorno]

. . . Before here, I didn't know anyone who didn't have to handle it.

[lapidarius]

I guess that does make sense. [y'know. mafia and all. kind of doesn't lend itself to the happiest situations.]

[digiorno]

I just mean that normal is hard. Sometimes I want to shield people from - everything else that exists.

Sometimes. Most of the time. So I do think it is the same thing, what you said and what's happening now.

[lapidarius]

...I know. I'd do the same thing if I could--I guess I'm trying to regardless of whether I can or not.

It probably is the same thing, more or less.