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[lapidarius]

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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Comments

text;

[silvercrusader]

you see
i think i may be in love





with jotaro

text; 1/?

[lapidarius]

what

[...Excuse the hell out of you?]

text;

[lapidarius]

[No, wait a second. Polnareff, ask for advice before doing something? Polnareff? Not a chance, he'd have already run off to orchestrate the most obnoxious confession (probably with glitter and confetti, possibly thrown by Chariot), so why-]

text;

[lapidarius]

[...was this a joke.]

[was this a joke right now.]

text;

[lapidarius]

[OH JESUS H CORPSE PARTS CHRIST, HE KNEW.]

text; done c:

[lapidarius]

[And that was how Kakyoin's entire train of thought came to this, basically.]

WHAT DID GIORNO TELL YOU.

text;

[silvercrusader]

He didnt tell me anything!! i figured it out on my own

[Gotta protect lil bro's reputation! And it's true, too.]

youre not helping me with my problem
its just when he yare yares i feel my heart skip a beat
the way he wears half a cap
the way he can fit five cigarettes in his mouth
what a man

text;

[lapidarius]

I'LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, POLNAREFF

[~friendship~]

text; 1/2

[silvercrusader]

but i'm so happy for you!!

really i am
seriously
this is good
you two are good for each other

[And he means that! He really does. If he thinks about it, they really do fit well together, and they both deserve happiness.]

text; actually you know what i'll just tell you when i'm done

[silvercrusader]

i did have a question though
kakyoin
you know i've always thought of you as a little brother

text;

[silvercrusader]

and i know this is probably your first relationship
it's scary!! romance and sex are frightening unknowns

text;

[silvercrusader]

but kakyoin




kakyoin

text; done

[silvercrusader]

are you two practicing safe sex

text;

[lapidarius]

[he's just sitting there with his face in his hands while his watch is going off.]

[he is horrified on seven different levels right now]

i am not having this conversation, polnareff

this is not happening and i am not discussing it

text;

[silvercrusader]

INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW
without mr joestar around im basically your and jotaro's guardian
it'd be irresponsible of me not to ask

[No, he's not. But he is oldest, ergo: guardian.]

do you need me to take you shopping for condoms kakyoin

text;

[lapidarius]

NO YOU ARE NOT YOU ARE THE FURTHEST THING POSSIBLE FROM THAT

ALSO: SHUT UP

text;

[silvercrusader]

youre seventeen what do you know about safe sex you need me
what do you know about sex at all actually wait
do i have to talk to you about that

[This is never going to end, Kakyoin.]

text;

[lapidarius]

I'M EIGHTEEN, YOU MISSED MY BIRTHDAY

[how dare you, polnareff.]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME ANYTHING

text;

[silvercrusader]

[Yeah, because that's the worst part of all this. BUT! He's definitely going to make up for it, okay!]

did you try alcohol
oh my god did i miss you trying alcohol
YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST

text;

[lapidarius]

i'm going to try throttling you, i promise you won't miss that

text;

[silvercrusader]

kakyoin ・゜・(ノД`) no

really though
i AM happy for you

text;

[lapidarius]

You're not going to run around telling everyone, are you?

text;

[silvercrusader]

not if you dont want me to
is it a secret?

text;

[lapidarius]

Not in the strictest definition. I just don't want someone running his mouth left and right and making sure the whole city knows.

text;

[silvercrusader]

well if SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME instead of saying ohhhh i dont have any interest in jotaro why would you ask that ohhhh maybe you wouldn't have had to worry about this
maybe you could have said then oh by the way polnareff keep this to yourself because my love with jotaro is new and fragile and i am shy