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[lapidarius]

"This is Kakyoin Noriaki. Please leave a message, I'll contact you as soon as I can."

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Comments

text;

[lapidarius]

Of course. What's wrong?

text;

[silvercrusader]

[That earnest response! It almost makes him regret what he's about to do. But what are friends for if not to give each other shit, so--]

i think im in love with someone
and i dont know what to do

text;

[lapidarius]

[...this timing seemed oddly suspicious after basically the same thing with Joseph, but he noted it as an odd coincidence and carried on.]

You should ask Giorno, he's better with that sort of thing than I am.

text; 1/2

[silvercrusader]

no no you know him better

text;

[silvercrusader]

you see
i think i may be in love





with jotaro

text; 1/?

[lapidarius]

what

[...Excuse the hell out of you?]

text;

[lapidarius]

[No, wait a second. Polnareff, ask for advice before doing something? Polnareff? Not a chance, he'd have already run off to orchestrate the most obnoxious confession (probably with glitter and confetti, possibly thrown by Chariot), so why-]

text;

[lapidarius]

[...was this a joke.]

[was this a joke right now.]

text;

[lapidarius]

[OH JESUS H CORPSE PARTS CHRIST, HE KNEW.]

text; done c:

[lapidarius]

[And that was how Kakyoin's entire train of thought came to this, basically.]

WHAT DID GIORNO TELL YOU.

text;

[silvercrusader]

He didnt tell me anything!! i figured it out on my own

[Gotta protect lil bro's reputation! And it's true, too.]

youre not helping me with my problem
its just when he yare yares i feel my heart skip a beat
the way he wears half a cap
the way he can fit five cigarettes in his mouth
what a man

text;

[lapidarius]

I'LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, POLNAREFF

[~friendship~]

text; 1/2

[silvercrusader]

but i'm so happy for you!!

really i am
seriously
this is good
you two are good for each other

[And he means that! He really does. If he thinks about it, they really do fit well together, and they both deserve happiness.]

text; actually you know what i'll just tell you when i'm done

[silvercrusader]

i did have a question though
kakyoin
you know i've always thought of you as a little brother

text;

[silvercrusader]

and i know this is probably your first relationship
it's scary!! romance and sex are frightening unknowns

text;

[silvercrusader]

but kakyoin




kakyoin

text; done

[silvercrusader]

are you two practicing safe sex

text;

[lapidarius]

[he's just sitting there with his face in his hands while his watch is going off.]

[he is horrified on seven different levels right now]

i am not having this conversation, polnareff

this is not happening and i am not discussing it

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[silvercrusader]

INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW
without mr joestar around im basically your and jotaro's guardian
it'd be irresponsible of me not to ask

[No, he's not. But he is oldest, ergo: guardian.]

do you need me to take you shopping for condoms kakyoin

text;

[lapidarius]

NO YOU ARE NOT YOU ARE THE FURTHEST THING POSSIBLE FROM THAT

ALSO: SHUT UP

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[silvercrusader]

youre seventeen what do you know about safe sex you need me
what do you know about sex at all actually wait
do i have to talk to you about that

[This is never going to end, Kakyoin.]

text;

[lapidarius]

I'M EIGHTEEN, YOU MISSED MY BIRTHDAY

[how dare you, polnareff.]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME ANYTHING

text;

[silvercrusader]

[Yeah, because that's the worst part of all this. BUT! He's definitely going to make up for it, okay!]

did you try alcohol
oh my god did i miss you trying alcohol
YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST

text;

[lapidarius]

i'm going to try throttling you, i promise you won't miss that

text;

[silvercrusader]

kakyoin ・゜・(ノД`) no

really though
i AM happy for you