[Rude . . . whatever. Once he gets to the top of the stairs, he makes a beeline for the nearest chair, one of the wooden ones by the card table. When he sits, it's clear he's holding tension in his shoulders.]
This is the place your weird friend was standing in front of without clothes on, isn't it.
Is it? I don't really have much that he'd borrow--the most important thing I own technically belongs to both of us anyway. [Beat.] Then again, Polnareff and I steal each other's earrings once in a while. I never really thought much of it before.
Maybe it's just because I never had anything to share before.
[But his life is full of things now, objects and things less tangible, most of them shared so well that he doesn't know which part is his and which isn't.]
[He rakes his bangs out of his eyes, frowning.]
I'm starting to think that none of the things I'm used to are really normal.
[Kakyoin paused, taking a pen out of his pocket and twirling it idly between his fingers as he put his thoughts in order.]
...If I think about it, the person I was before I met Jojo and the others wasn't really me. It wasn't Tenmei, it wasn't Noriaki, it was just...someone that was kind of empty. My friends--Jojo especially--are as much a necessary part of me as my Hierophant. So things like Polnareff stealing my earrings or borrowing Jotaro's shirt once in a while just kind of come naturally somehow. We each know the other isn't going to be seriously angry about it, and it's something we just want to do or makes us feel better. So we already know it doesn't exactly hurt anything on either side.
[My friends are as much a necessary part of me as my Hierophant.]
[He's a little distant, after Kakyoin is done talking. Is that what it is — that if he had a Stand, whatever it was, it would feel the same way that it does being around Joseph? That same comfort, and without it he'd just feel strange and incomplete. Is it the same?]
[It would be so much easier if he had anything else to compare this to.]
. . . Do you think that's what I am? Empty. Missing something.
No. [The answer came easily, without the need for thought behind it.] I think you're just less desperate and more hesitant to get close to people than I was. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. And it doesn't make you empty or anything of the sort.
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Date: 2016-04-10 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 01:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 01:56 am (UTC)[he'd just follow laughing under his breath]
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:20 am (UTC)This is the place your weird friend was standing in front of without clothes on, isn't it.
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:23 am (UTC)For the record I had absolutely nothing to do with whatever that was. I know Polnareff lost a bet and I chose to ask as few questions as possible.
[Kakyoin dropped down onto a chair across the same table, rolling his eyes.]
But this is the place. Jotaro owns it, so I borrowed his keys to get in.
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:28 am (UTC). . . He just lets you take his things all the time?
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:30 am (UTC)[SIIIIIIIGH.]
I left a note. Besides, I don't think he'll be looking for them right now.
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:39 am (UTC)[He thinks about that for a moment, then just shrugs.]
So that's a yes.
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:39 am (UTC)[No point in denying it.]
If it bothered him, I'd know. Or he'd outright tell me to knock it off.
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 02:49 am (UTC)[But his life is full of things now, objects and things less tangible, most of them shared so well that he doesn't know which part is his and which isn't.]
[He rakes his bangs out of his eyes, frowning.]
I'm starting to think that none of the things I'm used to are really normal.
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:52 am (UTC)[What a pair of disasters they made.]
...I've been thinking the same, occasionally.
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Date: 2016-04-10 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 03:01 am (UTC)[Kakyoin paused, taking a pen out of his pocket and twirling it idly between his fingers as he put his thoughts in order.]
...If I think about it, the person I was before I met Jojo and the others wasn't really me. It wasn't Tenmei, it wasn't Noriaki, it was just...someone that was kind of empty. My friends--Jojo especially--are as much a necessary part of me as my Hierophant. So things like Polnareff stealing my earrings or borrowing Jotaro's shirt once in a while just kind of come naturally somehow. We each know the other isn't going to be seriously angry about it, and it's something we just want to do or makes us feel better. So we already know it doesn't exactly hurt anything on either side.
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Date: 2016-04-10 03:06 am (UTC)[He's a little distant, after Kakyoin is done talking. Is that what it is — that if he had a Stand, whatever it was, it would feel the same way that it does being around Joseph? That same comfort, and without it he'd just feel strange and incomplete. Is it the same?]
[It would be so much easier if he had anything else to compare this to.]
. . . Do you think that's what I am? Empty. Missing something.
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Date: 2016-04-10 03:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 03:18 am (UTC)[He's not sure he agrees, but he can't think of a way to say that without sounding self-pitying. So he just doesn't bother. Instead:]
What you were saying before. About being too confident, or not confident enough. Is that related? Does confidence make you less empty, or more?
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Date: 2016-04-10 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 03:25 am (UTC)Sometimes I wonder if confidence is selfish. Or if selfishness is bad. Or lots of things. I don't know, I—
I miss when I knew, without a doubt, that I was doing the right thing.
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